Grandpa's Hair

“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."  From The Velveteen Rabbit

My husband Jim regrets that he cannot spend as much time with our 5-year-old granddaughter as he would like, so he has developed ways to keep the connection alive. First, when they greet each other and leave, they beep each other’s noses. It is a special ritual between just the two of them.

He is constantly looking for new ways to connect. One day, she asked him what happened to his hair (my husband has the typical loss of hair on the top for a man his age). He told her he didn’t know where it was; he lost it.

He thought she had forgotten that conversation, but the next time she saw him, she told him, “Grandpa, I looked for your hair at school but it wasn’t there. Don’t worry; I’ll find it”

From then on, wherever she goes, she makes sure to tell him she looked. He knows that even though he’s not able to be with her, she still thinks about him as much as he does her. 

The Death of Harembe: A Lesson to be Learned

I will admit that I am not a fan of zoos. This is an opinion I am ashamed to say I came to late in life. My personal view is that we have no right to take animals out of their natural environment for our amusement. But when we do, we need to provide protection for these animals, and that protection needs to include safeguards from those who visit them.

Over the years, many people have entered the enclosures these animals live in and endanger themselves and the animals. An Australian tourist, wanting to get a better photo, scaled two fences to get to a 1,200 pound polar bear. A zoo worker came to her rescue, and she only suffered a broken leg and lacerations. The polar bear was uninjured. Somehow this was seen as the bear’s fault.

In 2012, a 2-year-old boy was perched on a railing in the Pittsburgh Zoo above the African Wild Dogs enclosure. He fell, bounced off the protective netting and fell into the enclosure. Three of the dogs attacked and bit him on the head and torso. The police opened fire, but one of the dogs refused to leave the child and he died of his injuries…a terrible tragedy.

In 1996, at the Brookfield Zoo, a 3-year-old climbed over the gorilla enclosure and fell 20 feet.  A female gorilla with her baby on her back cradled the boy and carried him to safety. The gorilla was not injured and the boy made a full recovery.

It would be good to say that was the case every time, but it is not, as witnessed by the tragedy at the Cincinnati Zoo this past week. A three-year-old boy also fell into a gorilla’s enclosure. The various videos taken show this male gorilla, Harambe, holding the boy’s hand and shielding him from the screams of the onlookers. Those videos also show him quickly dragging the child by the foot from one area of the enclosure to the other. With the decision made that it would take too long to sedate the animal, the conclusion was made to shoot. With Harembe dead, the child could be retrieved. His injuries were not life-threatening, and none was caused by the gorilla. In the aftermath, many claimed that all the gorilla was doing was protecting the child while others saw a potential for injury due to the gorilla’s size.

This is a sad story. Many are lambasting the mother for not watching her son; others are taking the zoo to task for killing this majestic animal. There are two groups of people who need to learn a lesson so another animal does not have to die for our mistakes. The first group is those who are in charge of these animal enclosures. They have to look at all enclosures with an eye toward protecting both the public and the animals. The second group is the parents and grandparents who choose to take their children and grandchildren to zoos around the country.

The mother in the recent incident in Cincinnati said she was distracted by the other children she had with her. The lesson here is that there should be one adult for every child. Think of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends to enlist for the trip to the zoo. Not only will each child have a protector and companion, but the trip will be enhanced by the presence of family.

Often these tragedies happen because parents are lifting the child up over the railing or perching them on the railing to get a better look. The simple answer is for the adults to not do this, but we all know that many people convince themselves they have a good hold on the child and he/she could never fall. But, we all have held a squirmy toddler in our arms and know how hard it is to hold on to them. If zoos post signs by all these enclosures to remind people to not sit on the rail, we might be able to save the children and the animals from these kinds of accident.

I know this next suggestion may not be as popular, but if you are a visitor at a zoo and see what you believe to be dangerous behavior, say something, either to the parent or find a zoo worker to approach the parents. There is a very good chance, if you approach the parents, that you will be told to mind your own business, but there is also the chance you could save the life of a child or an animal. Let’s not let Harembe have died in vain.

Helping Children Understand Memorial Day

Helping Children Understand Memorial Day

“Who kept the faith and fought the fight; The glory theirs, the duty ours”....Wallace Bruce

Children, depending on their ages, understand war in different ways, but this upcoming Memorial Day is our chance to teach our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews what the weekend means and how they can participate.

·       Put flags or flowers on the graves of men and women who served in wars (check with VFW or American Legion posts to find date and times)

·       Fly the U.S. flag at half-staff until noon.

·       Participate in a National Moment of Remembrance at 3 p.m. local time. Or stop before dinner for a moment of silence.

·       For teens, they can collect photos of their relatives who have served and post them on their Facebook pages.

Taking the Kids to the Stars

With Spring Break coming up in the next few weeks, it’s time to start thinking of ways to keep the children busy and stimulated during their break from school. How about a trip to the stars?

Most areas have a planetarium; here on Long Island, we have the Vanderbilt Planetarium, located on the grounds of the Vanderbilt Mansion and Museum in Centerport at 180 Little Neck Road.

My husband visited the planetarium recently with our granddaughter, Tally to celebrate her 5^th birthday (we believe it’s better to share experiences with her instead of adding toys to her growing collection!). We took her to see One World, One Sky, a great introduction to the sky and the stars with Big Bird, Elmo, and Hu Hu Zhu, a friend from China. The focus of the show was that no matter where you are, we are all under the same sky and see the same stars.

There are other shows that are kid friendly: Earth, Moon, and Sun, which shows the relationship between the three; Stars: Powerhouses of the Universe; Night Sky, Live; and A Starry Tale.

The shows that are family friendly are under an hour, leaving the kids plenty of time to explore the exhibits. Some of the exhibits may be a little over the kids’ heads, but my daughter found a great way to

keep my granddaughter engaged; she gave her the iPhone and let her take photos. The two of them strolled through the exhibits taking pictures and reading the labels on the photos.

Probably the biggest hit was the large scale Moon. On the moon were numbers, draw attention to the times that man went to the moon. Tally was quick to point out to the guide that the # 2 was missing. Allowing her to take photos that she could see instantly got Tally fully engaged. She even impressed us with the names of the plants she already knew.

After we were done in the planetarium, we wandered the grounds a bit, promising we would come back when the weather was nicer for a longer visit.

New Adventure! Downsizing

In the next few weeks, I will document our journey from 5 bedrooms, a den, basement, attic, 2 baths, lovely large backyard, and pool to a small 2 bedroom apartment. 

My husband Jim and I just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary, and so we thought we would call "plot twist" and sell our 5 bedroom house and move to an apartment. Our reasons are many and varied, but the process is the same: sell old house, find a new place, get rid of all the stuff that we accumulated in the last 10 years at the house.


One of the most obvious first steps is to get rid of all the "stuff" that has accumulated in all the nooks and crannies of our home.

My first suggestion is to ask your children if there is anything they might want. People often keep this kind of information to themselves and then find themselves disappointed when Mom and Dad sell their favorite chair from the living room that they remember watching Rudolph in every Christmas.

Making your children and grandchildren part of the process can make it easier for them to see what you have had stored for so long and then let you know they are interested. You will be amazed at what they see as important.

But you also need to be prepared for them to want nothing. Don't take this as a personal assault. They are watching you try to get rid of things that perhaps you should never have brought in the house in the first place.

Every time I start a conversation with my older daughter that begins, "Would ou like...?" She doesn't even let me get to name the item. I guess, she has more self-control than her mother.

Next week.... what to do with all the rest