Saturday, April 18, 2015

Sharing Music With Grandchildren



“Music is a wonderful way to connect with grandchildren because it provides an avenue that you can both travel,” 

says Lillian Carson,
 author of The Essential Grandparent.



One of my favorite childhood memories is listening to a record of Harry Lauder (Scottish singer) with my grandfather. I loved a song called “Donald, where’s your trousers?” Sharing music with our grandchildren shares the things we love with the little ones we love. In addition, we can let our grandchildren share their music with us. You will score huge brownie points, especially with teen grandchildren, if you seriously listen to their favorite music.

But the last thing we want to do is announce to them, “Now we are going to listen to some music grandma loves.” There are plenty of ways to integrate music (ours and there’s) into our day to day lives:

· Make sure there is a cd player/iPod® in every place/room were you and the child spend time.

· Have a collection of music available. The library is a great place to find a variety of music. Take the child to the library with you and have each of you to choose a few cds.

· The car is an excellent place to share music. You can connect your iPod® or cell phone to your car radio. I connect my cell phone to the radio and then listen to Pandora Internet Radio, an app that lets you personalize radio. I have a Disney Channel for Tally, my 4 year old granddaughter, but we also listen to my Garth Brooks Channel and music from the 60s and 70s.

When my children were little, my husband would sing Three Dog Night’s Joy to the World to them
before they went to bed. Recently, when he had the opportunity to spend some time by himself with our granddaughter, I heard him singing it to her. She told him that her Mommy sang that song to her at night before bed. That song from my husband’s past has become part of the heritage of this family. In fact, at my daughter’s wedding, when it was time for my husband and daughter to have their Father/Daughter Dance, the DJ played…



“Jeremiah was a bull frog
Was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
And he always had some mighty fine wine

Singin'
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls, now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me”

Check out the following websites that severed as the basis of this post:

http://www.stvincent.org/Health-Library/Integrated-Childrens-Solution-Center/Parenting/Just-for-Grandparents/For-Seniors--Pass-On-Your-Love-of-Music.aspx

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/u/jackie-silberg-importance-of-music/379002449/

http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/learning/schoolage_music.html



Friday, April 17, 2015

Twins: On the Job Training




Guest Blogger, Tara Sheehan, Mother of Twins

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore but let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of heaven dance between you -- Kahlil Gibran

This morning as I was watching the Today Show, I had to smile when I saw the parents of the newborn quintuplets, born in Texas, getting their 15 minutes of fame in with Matt Lauer. They seemed bright-eyed and eager and so excited and I thought to myself, you’re in for it. And you don’t even know it. Now having twins (my boy/girl twins are 4) pales in comparison to having five (!) babies but I can certainly understand not knowing what you don’t know. That’s the best way to enter into something as profoundly life changing as having 2 kids at once. Or 5. You figure it out along the way.

There are so many things that people tell you about having twins – before they’re even born, well-meaning people are peppering you with expectations. Some of them were true (or at least true for me) and some were not. The special twin language? I never saw evidence of it. The scary grasp of basic biology that strangers at the grocery store show when they ask if your boy/girl twins are identical? Heard it more times than I could count. From friends, even. Some expectations took longer to make themselves known. I remember my son’s speech therapist telling me when the twins were 18 months old that we/they were so lucky to have built in playmates. At the time, I didn’t feel so lucky (I don’t care what they say about the terrible 2’s or 3’s, I did not like 18 months…. At all.).


But now I count on that fact every single day. My twins love each other and rely on one another so much; in fact, I worry about it a little bit. Nate was sick earlier in the week and I kept him home from pre-school. Grace went off solo to school. We had a nice day together (despite the sickness) but Nate said he missed Grace more than once. It was probably about 5 times. By about the 4th time, I did say, “what about me? I’m here!” But then, I stopped being a baby and thought, I love that they love each other. In fact, I hope they’re always like they are now – thick as thieves. But it brings up another concern: are they too attached?

What’s going to happen when they are separated in school? Are they going to have a hard time adjusting? I suppose like everything else with parenting, even twin parenting, it will work itself out. I remember spending great periods of time worrying about my infant children sharing a room and one crying and waking the other one up. It never happened. In fact, to this day, one can be making a racket and the other will sleep right through it. They shared a womb for almost a year; I guess they worked out the noise thing long before they burst on the scene. I hope this fear is the same, it amounts to nothing.

For those new parents of the quintuplet girls (can you imagine having 5 girls at once?), they will be experts at this before they know it. And all the books they read and advice they were given might have made them feel prepared but it probably didn’t. You don’t know anything at all; and that’s good. They’ll muddle through, like every set of new parents before them, until they don’t remember a time they didn’t have 5 little girls to care for. I wish them well in their journey. And I hope they have lots and lots of diapers.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

I want patience and I want it now!





Patience is a two way street. Although it is a good thing to help our grandchildren develop patience, it is also a good thing for us, especially when we are dealing with toddlers. Here are some great suggestions to help us move toward patience.


Toddlers have no concept of time, so this is a good time to help them learn patience. One way to do that is to anticipate when their might be waiting and have something on hand to help them pass the time. For example, if you know you will be waiting in line at the grocery store, the following might be helpful:


· Play I SPY: you can have toddlers find shapes, colors, or letter/numbers

· Thumb wrestling

· Color/ shape hunt

· Alphabet hunt

· “I’m going on a trip”: say “I’m going on a trip; what would I pack?”

· Paper and crayons with a small clip board: it is always a great idea to be prepared; you can purchase small clip boards at the dollar store with small note pads.

· Small toys that only come out in line: I like to collect the small toys from McDonalds

· Small snacks

· Pipe cleaners…make into alphabet and shapes

The key to helping your toddler develop patience is dependent on your being prepared. Do you like waiting on lines? Can you get impatient? So do our toddlers, but it is easy for us to help them (and us) be more a patient waiter by thinking beforehand how we can solve the problem. And, don’t forget to praise them when they have acted patiently.




Now for us… we too have to learn to develop patience when dealing with toddlers. They learn how to behave from watching those around them… be a good example.

· Stop thinking like an adult: we will be better able to have patience with our toddlers if we try to think like a toddler. We need to remember that they are often acting out of frustration. If we can find out what they are frustrated about, we can help.

·
When my children were young, I often got frustrated with them when they would not do exactly what I wanted. For example, I would pick out clothes for them to wear to school and they would rebel. That dress was too tight, those leggings itched, etc. Now I knew better than to say, “Well, pick out your own clothes.” What I came up with was the simple concept of choices. I would pick out two outfits and give then a choice. The decision was theirs what to wear and they felt in control. Our frustration with them and their frustration with us often stems from their wanting to have more control over themselves.

· Lower your expectations: We often lose patience with toddlers (and all children... husbands, too) when we place too much importance on something. Does the bed have to be made with strict precisions and perfect corners? Does the fork have to be on the left? Does your toddler’s pants have to match the top? When we set impossibly high goals for our children, we get impatient when they don’t meet those expectations. Teaching them confidence is more important than where the fork goes.

“There's no advantage to hurrying through life." -Shikamaru Nara” 


·
Slow down: our impatience stems from the go, go life we have created. But when we are dealing with toddlers, we can’t rush past the world. They have only been here a short while and everything is interesting. Their curiosity about the world is limitless, so don’t rush them. Leave time in your schedule for looking at rocks and into store windows. My granddaughter is curious about everything. So when we are going out, I always leave much earlier than I have to. The other day we were going to lunch and a movie. On the way out of lunch, Tally spotted a vacant field with lots of rocks strewn about. Tally loves to collect rocks, so of course she wanted to explore. If I had not given myself extra time, I would have rushed her away from there to get to the movie on time. So slow down, make time for diversions, smell the follows and collect those rocks.

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. 
We shall get there some day.” 

Check out these websites for more information:

http://parentingsimply.com/stop-losing-it-with-your-kids-build-your-patience/

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/964189/how-to-become-more-patient-with-toddlers

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/960527/how-to-be-a-more-easygoing-mom

http://www.themomwrites.com/2012/09/stress-free-parenting-six-fun-and-easy-ways-to-be-more-patient-with-your-toddler.html

Thursday, April 2, 2015

To the Moon and Back



I had the honor of going to the moon with my 4 year old granddaughter Tally yesterday. We spent two hours building a bed out of leaves with grass pillows. We lay on our backs and looked at the clouds; each one of them was a different spaceship from a different planet. We had to fight off moon bears and tigers. Luckily, we were back on Earth by the time her mother arrived.


At 62, I never thought I would get down on the ground and lay in the leaves again... never thought I could get up either! But I wouldn't miss that experience for the world, so if you think you're too old, Grandma, to get down on the floor with your grandchildren...THINK AGAIN!