Friday, October 9, 2015

TRICK OR TREATING SUGGESTIONS FOR A FUN, SAFE HOLIDAY



Halloween is just around the corner, so it is the right time to remind ourselves and the kids in our lives to be safe because there is nothing fun about a trip to the Emergency Room.

COSTUMES:



· Swords, knives, and other costume accessories should be short, soft, and flexible.
· Always test make-up in a small area first. Remove it before bedtime to prevent possible skin and eye irritation

· Lower your risk for serious eye injury by not wearing decorative contact lenses.

· Wear well-fitting masks, costumes, and shoes to avoid blocked vision, trips, and falls. If the hem is too long, cut it.
Plan costumes that are bright and reflective. Make sure that shoes fit well and that costumes are short enough to prevent tripping, entanglement or contact with flame.
Consider adding reflective tape to costumes and trick-or-treat bags for greater visibility.
When shopping for costumes, wigs and accessories, look for and purchase those with a label clearly indicating they are flame resistant.

TRICK OR TREATING

· Make sure that children under 12 have an adult with them at all times. If your children are trick or treating with another adult, don’t feel funny about talking about your requirements for your child (see below)

· Provide your child with a flashlight if he/she will be going after dark. Perhaps also place some reflective tape on their costume and bag.

· Remind kids to look both ways when crossing the street and walk, don’t run, from house to house. Older neighborhoods often have concrete sidewalks that are cracked and broken.

· They should always walk on the sidewalk. If there is no sidewalk, as close to the edge of the street as possible.

· No eating candy while trick or treating.

· Children should never enter anyone’s home unless the person at the door is someone you have already approved for your child to visit. If not, just tell them to say, “No thank you.” And then leave.

· Never walk near lit candles or luminaries.
For chaperones: Put electronic devices down and keep heads up and keep your eye on the children every minute.

· Think about giving your child a cell phone; show them how to call home and 911.
Watch for cars that are turning or backing up. Teach children to never dart out into the street or cross between parked cars.
If your older children are going alone, plan and review the route that is acceptable to you. Agree on a specific time when they should return home.
Law enforcement authorities should be notified immediately of any suspicious or unlawful activity.

HEALTHY HALLOWEEN
A good meal prior to parties and trick-or-treating will discourage youngsters from filling up on Halloween treats.
Consider purchasing non-food treats for those who visit your home, such as coloring books or pens and pencils.
Wait until children are home to sort and check treats. Though tampering is rare, a responsible adult should closely examine all treats and throw away any spoiled, unwrapped or suspicious items.
Try to ration treats for the days following Halloween.

PUMPKIN CARVING
Small children should never carve pumpkins. Children can draw a face with markers. Then parents can do the cutting.
Consider purchasing stickers and other ways to decorate the pumpkins without needing knife.
Consider using a flashlight or glow stick instead of a candle to light your pumpkin. If you do use a candle, a votive candle is safest.
Candlelit pumpkins should be placed on a sturdy table, away from curtains and other flammable objects, and should never be left unattended.

Halloween should be fun, but some rules can help if from going from fun to disaster.



See more at: http://www.safekids.org/tip/halloween-safety-tips#sthash.fGkdJ21o.dpuf

- See more at: https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/news-features-and-safety-tips/pages/Halloween-Safety-Tips.aspx#sthash.RKhbmtJV.dpuf



- See more at: https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/news-features-and-safety-tips/pages/Halloween-Safety-Tips.aspx#sthash.RKhbmtJV.dpuf

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Set Your Child Up for Success: Step 1—Homework Center



In order to make sure your child has everything he/she needs to succeed in school, you have to think about many things, but one is where will my child do his/her homework. I suggest that at the beginning of the school year, you create a homework center. Here are a few ideas to help you get started, but, as with anything, each family needs to proceed based on the needs of their own family.

My first suggestion is to involve your child/children is setting up this area. You would be surprised how willing they are to give suggestions and ideas when they see you want and need their help. For example, they may suggest an area for the homework center that you would not have even thought of. Make sure to respect their suggestions. Perhaps a family meeting would be in order where the entire family brainstorms ideas.

Suggestions to Consider

Where will this center be? The most logical answer to that is wherever is comfortable, has little distractions, has good lighting, and where you can be close by to aid when needed and to keep an eye on progress. Another important thing to consider is comfort. Comfort not only includes physical comfort, but emotional comfort, too. Make sure the area you choose for homework is free of clutter. If the children will be using the dining room or kitchen table, make sure it is free of all clutter.

“Clutter drains your energy – and you don’t realize it till it’s gone. Every item in your home has an energy to it. When items go a long time unused, unloved and uncared for, they become stuck, stagnant energy that actually physically drains you of your energy.”
– Ariane Benefit



In addition, make sure you stock up on all the supplies you need such as note books, notebook paper, pens, pencils, pencil sharpener, dictionary, erasers, calculator, glue, scissors, crayons, stapler and staples, markers, ruler, colored pencils, tape, highlighters, and thesaurus.

Another thing to consider is whether your child will need to use a computer for his/her homework. Consider having one close by the homework center so she/he has easy access. For older children who have their own computers in their room, you may have to consider allowing them to do their homework there. If so, the same things apply… make sure they have ready access to supplies and make sure the area they will be working in is free from clutter and distractions.


I hope the information is helpful…next post: how to “help” without interfering.





Thursday, August 27, 2015

Family Command Center

For teachers and families with school-age children, the new year begins in September, not January. So it's time to set some resolutions for the new school year to help keep the fmily organized and less stressed. The first thing to do is set up a Family Command Center. This is were everything that your family needs on a daily basis is located: calendars, files, school menus, chore lists, weekly dinner menus, call lists for children's after-school activities, information for babysitter, in-boxes for all family members, bills, backpacks, and anything and everything your family needs.

STEP ONE: Where will you put your command center?

Most families put theirs in the kitchen, but you should ask yourself where members of your family come to when they walk through the door...put it there!

STEP TWO: What kind of calendar would work best for your family?

Do you want a month by month paper calendar (see link to the left)?

Do you want a dry erase calendar that only gives you one month at a time (you will need another calendar to keep track of upcoming events)?

STEP THREE: Will each member of your family have his/her own file on the wall or on the
desk/table?

Each person in the family should have an in/out box/folder where all paper such as school flyers, notices, and homework goes each day. Make it a habit for the children to empty their backpacks each day in this area and make sure all paper that needs Mom and Dad's attention goes in this file. You can then check it every night, sign what needs to be signed or add events to the family calendar. You can then return whatever needs to be sent back to school to the children's backpacks. If there is an area near the command center for the backpacks to be left, then it will be easy to return all items back there. It also keeps children from running around the house in the morning looking for his/her backpack.

STEP THREE: What kind of filing system will you use?

Will you have a separate file cabinet? One that sits on the desk/table at you command center? Will the files be covered or open? For items that need to be kept and filed, having a well labelled set of files is essential. You can have a file for each person or have files labelled "phone lists" and "sports calendars."

STEP FOUR: Do you need a bulletin board?

If you decide to use one, decide how it will be used. Will it be used to house emergency contact numbers, flyers for upcoming events, family photos? This decision early on will keep your bulletin board from being so crowded that nothing on it can be seen.

Next Week: Setting up a homework center





















Monday, June 29, 2015

Gay Marriage and Children

First, let me make clear what my opinion is of gay marriage.  I believe there isn't enough love in the world, and if two people fall in love and want to commit themselves for life, let them, no matter if they are the same sex or different sexes. Marriage is a personal thing, and it's a shame that we had to get the government involved, but we did; they spoke; and now it's the law.

This is the perfect time to bring up the subject in front of the children. The transgender issue has been in the news lately and now gay marriage, so it is a fine time to have this as a dinner conversation topic. Depending on the child and the child's age, you might start with a general question such as "What do you think about the ruling approving gay marriage?" It is important to make sure that the child feels he/she is part of the conversation and that it doesn't turn into a lecture from Mom, Dad, or Grandma or Grandpa.

Having the child air his/her views first also makes sure that they don't just agree with your view because they feel bullied or they think you will be angry if they disagree with you. Listen to them and even mirror back what they said to make sure you understand what they are saying: "So, you think gay marriage is weird?" The next question is the most important: "Why?" It is fine for children to have opinions that are different from ours, but it is important they know that an opinion should be based on correct information and not just what the majority of his/her friends say. We want to raise independent thinkers.

If the two of you disagree, the next part of the conversation should be about respect and tolerance. No matter what your views, it is not OK to belittle and shame those who feel differently or do differently. If they hear someone else do it, it is the right thing to do to help the person being bullied and ridiculed.  This kind of conversation can have long reaching effects and might even help your child deal with bullying situations at school.

The important message to get across is to remember that the adults in a child's life have a great impact on a child, even if we don't think so, and we can help them navigate these issues with intelligence and compassion.

I hope I can get a dialogue started here. Please feel free to post your views here and other suggestion on how to deal with these sensitive issues with the children in our lives.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Guest Blogger Nana Pat (Pat Pauli Dreyer)



The Tattooed Grandma asked me, Nana Pat, to write something for her blog about some of the things I do with my two grandsons. I am helping to raise them; I like the sound of that rather than babysitter. I have them two to three times a week for 10-11 hours a day. We play outside at the water table and sandbox, we play inside with toys I saved from my children and some new yard sale finds, we ride bikes up and down the driveway, we play school to learn reading, writing and numbers and we try to make crafty things. The boys don't care too much for artsy crafty things so I have to be creative. Finger painting was good, gifts for mom and dad were ok, but food crafts were a big hit.



We have made banana bread, cookies, slime, Play-Doh and ice cream. Slime was really simple. We used 1 box of corn starch and a pitcher of water, and food coloring. Start with about a 1/4 cup of the corn starch and slowly add a 1/2 cup of the water. Slowly add more corn starch and water, mixing thoroughly until you have the amount you want and the mixture is as thick as honey. About a box of cornstarch and 1-2 cups of water should make enough slime for 2-3 kids. You can add food coloring or split the mixture up and make each batch a different color. Once the desired color has been reached, dip you hands in and feel the slime. As you play with it, notice how it acts like a solid, then a liquid. It should not splash if it is made correctly. The kids will love it!



Edible Play-Doh was also a big hit! We had used real Play-Doh with some of the kits that it comes in. But edible Play-Doh was more fun because you got to eat it when you were done. We used Peeps from Easter (but regular marshmallows would probably work as well) coconut oil (it’s really a solid) and powdered sugar. In a large microwaveable bowl place three Peeps and one big tablespoon of the coconut oil. Set the microwave for 20-30 seconds. The Peeps will grow puffy and big. Stop the microwave when the oil melts and the Peeps grow puffy. Take the bowl out and start stirring. It will be very sticky, so add 1-2 teaspoons of powdered sugar. Add more powdered sugar as needed. If you use marshmallows you could add food coloring for color, not necessary for Peeps because they are colored already, but you could add some for a deeper color. Put the powdered sugar on your hands to make it easier to handle. It's oiler than Play Doh, but much more yummy! After playing with the mixture, it can be stored (fresh Peeps store for 2-3 days, stale Peeps harden quickly) or eaten!



We also made ice cream from snow. This winter we put bowls outside to collect freshly fallen snow. You need about 8 cups of snow, 1 (14 ounce) can of sweetened condensed milk, 3/4 cups of sugar or to taste, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract (for vanilla ice cream.) You could also add chocolate chips, chocolate milk, cocoa, strawberry Quick or any flavor you want. Thin plastic bowls reduce melting (I found out the hard way not to use metal bowls) and some people use chocolate syrup, but I used Hershey's unsweetened cocoa because of the sugar and sweetened milk already there. You need to stir, stir, and stir. (No hand mixers, they will make it thin.) Put it in the freezer for 30-60 minutes and stir, stir, stir again. We took turns stirring. They loved it! I thought the vanilla was good, but the boys prefer chocolate ice cream. So I added the cocoa powder and that was a winner!



Enjoy the kids and the fun!

Friday, May 29, 2015

Getting the Kids to Read over Summer Break



Teachers will tell you that it is important for children of all ages to read over the summer, but, for many kids, that is the last thing they want to do. Many children take a few steps backwards in their reading ability over the summer break, and it often takes weeks in the fall for them to catch up.

Reading is the single most criteria for academic success. The acquired knowledge children get from reading can actually make them smarter. They will have a vast wealth of information to draw from in their academic lives. In addition, reading helps develop critical thinking skills. As a college professor, I can assure you that the ability to think critically is the key to academic success in later years. So, it is up to parents and grandparents to help kids find opportunities to read over the summer so we can keep them sharp!

1. Join a the local library’s Summer Reading Club: there are often rewards for the children at the end of the summer for reading a certain number of books

2. For older kids, purchase an e-reader. Libraries provide opportunities to download books for free, so the e-reader actually pays for itself. There are also websites, like Book Perks, that show books available on Amazon for free or between .99 to $2.99.

3. Make sure your student sees you reading for pleasure. You are still the greatest influence they have.

4. Read the same books that they are reading and talk about the book with them.

5. On the Parenting website, an article by Melissa Taylor suggests

a. Let the child pick his/her own books

b. Use audio books while in the car (they can also be borrowed from the library)

c. Remember, comic books count!

6. Have a regular day of the week when you go to the library

7. Sign up for programs the library has to assure you a regular trip to library

8. Along with sunscreen, make it a habit for the whole family to pack at least one book on all road trips.

To find the entire article by Melissa Taylor, see

http://www.parenting.com/blogs/mom-congress/melissa-taylor/10-ways-get-kids-reading-over-summer

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Teaching Children About Random Acts of Kindness


Many adults have created a mindset for themselves of looking for opportunities to be kind to others. Many of us regularly let other drivers ahead of us at a merge, hold doors for others and even pay the toll for the car behind us.  Wouldn’t it be great if we all had begun that mindset when we were young children?At the dinner table, brainstorm some acts of kindness the children (and you!) can do that week. It might be hard for the children to think of what they can do, but the point is to make it a mindset. To encourage the children, you can all put your act of kindnesses on a piece of paper or a heart and make a collage. Here are some suggestions to help you and your children and grandchildren to create this mentality:

  • Volunteer to help distribute food at the food bank.
  • Have the child go through toys/clothes and bring him/her along when you donate
  • Make cards and pictures for out of town relatives
  • When you make cookies or brownie, have them take some to an elderly neighbor, stay and share some with them.
  •  Encourage children to give their seats to pregnant women and those older than them on the bus, waiting for a table at a restaurant, etc.
  •  Sign up to put the flags on gravestones on Memorial Day
  • Teach them to always say thank you
  • Rake leaves of an elderly or overwhelmed neighbor (shovel snow, too)...obviously this is a suggestion for an older child
  • When getting a pet, adopt.
  • Show by example to hold doors for the people behind you
  •  Go to the dollar store and get some of the items that an organization like Operation Gratitude sends to the troops…don’t forget to have the children send with it a thank you card
  • Make sure children always write their own thanks you notes for gifts they receive ( I have realized lately that sometimes people appreciate these handwritten notes more than a phone call)
  • Have the kids take the Sunday paper and clip coupons and leave them on the shelves in the grocery store when you go shopping.
  • Pick up litter (and obviously, don’t litter yourself)
  • Invite a lonely child to play
  • Talk to the new kid at school
  • If you see a homeless person, bring them some food. It may be uncomfortable for you at first, but it is important that the children see that everyone matters.
  • Smile and say hi to strangers
  • They should say good morning to their teacher, principal, school officials and classmates.  
  • They can offer to take their neighbor’s dog for a walk. 
  • Volunteer to be a tutor or mentor in a school, especially if there is an area in which you can help another student (this is great one for teens) 
  • Give someone a compliment at least once every day. 
  • Encourage them to be extra kind to the school bus driver. Say hello when they get on the bus and say thank you when they get off the bus. 


Read more: http://www.feelslikehomeblog.com/2014/08/60-random-acts-of-kindness-for-kids/#ixzz3b0LZyBL9 Follow us: @TaraZiegmont on Twitter | FeelsLikeHome on Facebook

Thanks to http://www.bradaronson.com/random-acts-of-kindness/

http://www.eatsleepbe.com/2012/02/acts-of-kindness-for-kids/

Thursday, May 14, 2015

War and The Disney Princesses



Recently, when I was driving my granddaughter home from pre-school, we passed a memorial for those who died in WWII. She asked me what it was, and I told her. Her next question threw me for a loop: “What is war, Grandma?” I told her it was when two countries have a fight. She seemed fine with that answer, for now. But she is a curious child, and I know it will come up again, and I want to be ready. So, I went to see what was on the Internet about how to discuss war with a toddler. It seems the consensus was that there is no easy way to explain it to children, toddlers and up.

It seems, though, that it is not a quick conversation. It is one where the concept of freedom needs to be explained. For toddlers, you can just say that freedom is when people can be able to do what they want, as long as it doesn’t hurt other people, without be afraid of being punished. For example, the Evil step-mother in Cinderella would not let Cinderella go to the ball, but the Fairy Godmother stepped in and helped Cinderella go to the ball. Using examples they can understand will help small children understand better an abstract concept.

That can give you a good transition to talking about war. You can continue with the Cinderella example. Explain how if Cinderella was one country and the Step-mother was the ruler, sometimes other countries (the Godmother, the mice) have to go and help Cinderella..

One website I went to said you need to discuss with your children that not everyone is good; there are evil people in the world. They know this already; they have seen Maleficent, Japhar, the Evil Queen, and numerous other Disney villains in action. They already know the world is filled with bad people. What we have to do is to assure them that the good guys will protect us from these people.

You can also use this opportunity to show the troops to your child as the heroes of the story and explain how much we all owe those people for stepping up and fighting the villains of the world so we can have a safe life here. It is important to reassure the child that he/she is in no danger, so they can go back to being a kid.

Now, you may be saying that this is deceiving the child; that I can’t keep the bad guys from her door ( try to stop me!), and I know that, but at four she doesn’t need to go to bed at night and worry about the Big Bad Wolf coming to knock down her door. She has an answer for her question for now; this is not the last time this issue will come up, and as she grows so will the conversation.



Friday, May 8, 2015

Let’s Get Organized



We look on ourselves, whether we are parents or grandparents, as our child’s first teacher. We teach them to say “please” and “thank you” and to tie their shoes, tell time and ride their bike, but how many of us teach our child to be organized? For me, organization is one of the great comforts of life and don’t we all want the children in our lives to feel that comfort?

Here are some suggestions that might help you and your child get on the road to organization:

1. We can all take a lesson from Mary Poppins and make the job of picking up into a game, seeing who can pick up the most red blocks, etc.

2. Have open storage. Having a closed lid toy box gets the toys out of the way, but it does not make for a quick clean up. Being able to just toss stuff animals into an open bin is far easier and more fun than having to open the lid.


3. You can also label these bids for an even more organized storage system. For children who cannot read yet, put photos of the items for that bin on the front. Such as a picture of one of the child’s Barbies for the bin for the fashion dolls.

4. If you will be helping, put on some old rock ‘n roll and you and the kids can dance while you tidy up.

5. You can set rules that they have to put away any toy they are playing with before they go on to the next toy.

6. There are also lots of negative ways that you can approach this, such as taking away any toy left out overnight, but the point of teaching children to be organized is to have it be a lifetime skill that can grow as they do, so having a negative connotation to the process might defeat the purpose.

7. Once children go to school, organization becomes the road to success. Have a place where all book bags and homework go after school and after homework. Have a place for permission slips and make sure to look in it every day. Teaching children the theory of “a place for everything and everything in its place” makes mornings so much calmer.

8. Develop a daily schedule (with input from the child). Children a get a real sense of comfort from consistency.


9. At the appropriate age, teach the child about the benefits of a to-do list. Children work well with a to-do list since it gives them the confidence of knowing they won’t forget anything that needs to be done and they can run out to play knowing all their chores and homework are done and Mom and Dad will appreciate their responsibility.

10. Before bedtime, you can review the next day with the child. Include planning what to wear (check weather) and what is on the calendar for the next day.



Here is a list from http://wolves.dsc.k12.ar.us/parentcenter/resources/organization.pdf to see if your school age child could benefit from some organization:

SIGNS OF POOR ORGANIZATION

Below is a list of situations that may be a sign that your child is having problems with organization and planning.

· Fails to bring home homework assignments

· Does not know the exact homework assignment

· Fails to return completed homework

· Does not know when the teacher gives homework (e.g., days of the week)

· Does not know how the teacher typically informs them of the homework assignments

· Does not know to bring home books or needed materials

· Does not know when assignments are due

· Does not have papers and study guides to study for test

· Does not know when tests are

· Does not have a regular study space

· Does not have needed supplies for homework

· Waits until the last minute to start homework/studying

· Runs out of time when studying for tests



Looking at this list, there are many things we could do to help this child. The first might be to contact the teacher and inform his/her of the problems and see if you can be informed of the homework each week, perhaps through emails. Provide a comfortable and well stocked area where the child can study with all the materials he/she might need. This area does not have to be away from all disruptions. Children often feel isolated when they are forced to do their homework all alone in their rooms. Help the child prepare a homework schedule. Help the child create a homework schedule. It could be that the amount of work overwhelms the child and he/she doesn’t know how to break it down into steps.

Monday, May 4, 2015

The Complexion of a Family


By
Patrice Tomasetti Newman
Image result for diverse family clipart


The cacophony of different voices ranging from 4 years old through 11 years old is drifting up to my sitting room. I smile. I hear laughter, shouts, and an occasional whine as my four grandchildren are playing whatever their imaginary game is at the moment. Their voices are a hodgepodge that reflects what our family is all about.

They bring to mind a recent conversation that I had with my second oldest granddaughter, who is 9 years old. She is the one that is reflective. She is the one that expresses how she feels about different topics that impact their lives. She seems to hash over in her own mind something that has been said or something that she has seen before she brings them up for discussion.

Recently, she asks, “Is it true that I have no sisters or brother?” I respond with, “Why would you ask that?” “Well, we have different fathers. So, we don’t have the same blood”, she replies. “Can you elaborate more?” I query. She proceeds to say that a ‘friend’ has brought this to her attention. According to her ‘friend’, if you don’t share the same exact bloodline, you are not family. My next question is, “Is sharing blood the only thing that makes one a family?” She thinks that over but seems unsure with this new information her ‘friend’ has given her.

I ask her about her daddy (not her biological father). She gives me true answers to the questions: He was adopted from Korea as a baby. No, he doesn’t have our blood. No, he doesn’t look like any of us. Yes, he is our son even though we don’t share the ‘blood connection’. So, I inquire, “Aren’t he, your grandpa and I a family?” She doesn’t even think about it for a minute before she responds, “Yes!”

We then talk about the first time I met her and her sister. They were going on 3 and 5 years old respectively. We speak not only about how we met but about how our families merged together when her daddy and mommy decided to be together. We talk about how from that moment on she and her sister became our granddaughters. “Do we share the same blood”, I probe. Again, her response is a quick, “No!” “Do you see us as your grandparents?” I ask. “Yes”, she replies. My next question, “Why?” gives her some pause.

Her answer reflects her feelings and thoughts on the topic. She states that like her daddy and mommy, we are always there for her; that we always care enough to teach her what is right and wrong; that we are always involved in her successes wherever she experiences them; that we are always there when she is not successful to make her understand that giving something a try is what is important so that she keeps learning new things; that we take her places and like to spend time with her. Most of all, she says, we always “have her back” and she feels loved.

“Well”, I ask, “What about your sisters and brother? How is your life experience the same or different with them?” She laughs. “Well, we go to school together. We play together. Sometimes, we argue over toys, the T.V., or the rules of a game. But I know that deep down inside they love me and I love them!” “Isn’t that what is most important? Isn’t that what family is all about?” I question. She thinks about it for a minute, smiles, and gives a resounding, “Yes it is!” Following a quick kiss, she is off to play with her sisters and brother. Her voice is added again to the racket created by my four grandchildren’s laughs, shouts, and yes, the occasional whines. And how I love those sounds! I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

I am sure that this topic will resurface again whether by her or one of her siblings. I will be prepared to help them think it through; to help them understand that the complexion of a family varies; to help them realize that the importance is in the bonds we form and the love we share. That is what makes a family!



Saturday, April 18, 2015

Sharing Music With Grandchildren



“Music is a wonderful way to connect with grandchildren because it provides an avenue that you can both travel,” 

says Lillian Carson,
 author of The Essential Grandparent.



One of my favorite childhood memories is listening to a record of Harry Lauder (Scottish singer) with my grandfather. I loved a song called “Donald, where’s your trousers?” Sharing music with our grandchildren shares the things we love with the little ones we love. In addition, we can let our grandchildren share their music with us. You will score huge brownie points, especially with teen grandchildren, if you seriously listen to their favorite music.

But the last thing we want to do is announce to them, “Now we are going to listen to some music grandma loves.” There are plenty of ways to integrate music (ours and there’s) into our day to day lives:

· Make sure there is a cd player/iPod® in every place/room were you and the child spend time.

· Have a collection of music available. The library is a great place to find a variety of music. Take the child to the library with you and have each of you to choose a few cds.

· The car is an excellent place to share music. You can connect your iPod® or cell phone to your car radio. I connect my cell phone to the radio and then listen to Pandora Internet Radio, an app that lets you personalize radio. I have a Disney Channel for Tally, my 4 year old granddaughter, but we also listen to my Garth Brooks Channel and music from the 60s and 70s.

When my children were little, my husband would sing Three Dog Night’s Joy to the World to them
before they went to bed. Recently, when he had the opportunity to spend some time by himself with our granddaughter, I heard him singing it to her. She told him that her Mommy sang that song to her at night before bed. That song from my husband’s past has become part of the heritage of this family. In fact, at my daughter’s wedding, when it was time for my husband and daughter to have their Father/Daughter Dance, the DJ played…



“Jeremiah was a bull frog
Was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
And he always had some mighty fine wine

Singin'
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls, now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me”

Check out the following websites that severed as the basis of this post:

http://www.stvincent.org/Health-Library/Integrated-Childrens-Solution-Center/Parenting/Just-for-Grandparents/For-Seniors--Pass-On-Your-Love-of-Music.aspx

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/u/jackie-silberg-importance-of-music/379002449/

http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/learning/schoolage_music.html



Friday, April 17, 2015

Twins: On the Job Training




Guest Blogger, Tara Sheehan, Mother of Twins

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore but let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of heaven dance between you -- Kahlil Gibran

This morning as I was watching the Today Show, I had to smile when I saw the parents of the newborn quintuplets, born in Texas, getting their 15 minutes of fame in with Matt Lauer. They seemed bright-eyed and eager and so excited and I thought to myself, you’re in for it. And you don’t even know it. Now having twins (my boy/girl twins are 4) pales in comparison to having five (!) babies but I can certainly understand not knowing what you don’t know. That’s the best way to enter into something as profoundly life changing as having 2 kids at once. Or 5. You figure it out along the way.

There are so many things that people tell you about having twins – before they’re even born, well-meaning people are peppering you with expectations. Some of them were true (or at least true for me) and some were not. The special twin language? I never saw evidence of it. The scary grasp of basic biology that strangers at the grocery store show when they ask if your boy/girl twins are identical? Heard it more times than I could count. From friends, even. Some expectations took longer to make themselves known. I remember my son’s speech therapist telling me when the twins were 18 months old that we/they were so lucky to have built in playmates. At the time, I didn’t feel so lucky (I don’t care what they say about the terrible 2’s or 3’s, I did not like 18 months…. At all.).


But now I count on that fact every single day. My twins love each other and rely on one another so much; in fact, I worry about it a little bit. Nate was sick earlier in the week and I kept him home from pre-school. Grace went off solo to school. We had a nice day together (despite the sickness) but Nate said he missed Grace more than once. It was probably about 5 times. By about the 4th time, I did say, “what about me? I’m here!” But then, I stopped being a baby and thought, I love that they love each other. In fact, I hope they’re always like they are now – thick as thieves. But it brings up another concern: are they too attached?

What’s going to happen when they are separated in school? Are they going to have a hard time adjusting? I suppose like everything else with parenting, even twin parenting, it will work itself out. I remember spending great periods of time worrying about my infant children sharing a room and one crying and waking the other one up. It never happened. In fact, to this day, one can be making a racket and the other will sleep right through it. They shared a womb for almost a year; I guess they worked out the noise thing long before they burst on the scene. I hope this fear is the same, it amounts to nothing.

For those new parents of the quintuplet girls (can you imagine having 5 girls at once?), they will be experts at this before they know it. And all the books they read and advice they were given might have made them feel prepared but it probably didn’t. You don’t know anything at all; and that’s good. They’ll muddle through, like every set of new parents before them, until they don’t remember a time they didn’t have 5 little girls to care for. I wish them well in their journey. And I hope they have lots and lots of diapers.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

I want patience and I want it now!





Patience is a two way street. Although it is a good thing to help our grandchildren develop patience, it is also a good thing for us, especially when we are dealing with toddlers. Here are some great suggestions to help us move toward patience.


Toddlers have no concept of time, so this is a good time to help them learn patience. One way to do that is to anticipate when their might be waiting and have something on hand to help them pass the time. For example, if you know you will be waiting in line at the grocery store, the following might be helpful:


· Play I SPY: you can have toddlers find shapes, colors, or letter/numbers

· Thumb wrestling

· Color/ shape hunt

· Alphabet hunt

· “I’m going on a trip”: say “I’m going on a trip; what would I pack?”

· Paper and crayons with a small clip board: it is always a great idea to be prepared; you can purchase small clip boards at the dollar store with small note pads.

· Small toys that only come out in line: I like to collect the small toys from McDonalds

· Small snacks

· Pipe cleaners…make into alphabet and shapes

The key to helping your toddler develop patience is dependent on your being prepared. Do you like waiting on lines? Can you get impatient? So do our toddlers, but it is easy for us to help them (and us) be more a patient waiter by thinking beforehand how we can solve the problem. And, don’t forget to praise them when they have acted patiently.




Now for us… we too have to learn to develop patience when dealing with toddlers. They learn how to behave from watching those around them… be a good example.

· Stop thinking like an adult: we will be better able to have patience with our toddlers if we try to think like a toddler. We need to remember that they are often acting out of frustration. If we can find out what they are frustrated about, we can help.

·
When my children were young, I often got frustrated with them when they would not do exactly what I wanted. For example, I would pick out clothes for them to wear to school and they would rebel. That dress was too tight, those leggings itched, etc. Now I knew better than to say, “Well, pick out your own clothes.” What I came up with was the simple concept of choices. I would pick out two outfits and give then a choice. The decision was theirs what to wear and they felt in control. Our frustration with them and their frustration with us often stems from their wanting to have more control over themselves.

· Lower your expectations: We often lose patience with toddlers (and all children... husbands, too) when we place too much importance on something. Does the bed have to be made with strict precisions and perfect corners? Does the fork have to be on the left? Does your toddler’s pants have to match the top? When we set impossibly high goals for our children, we get impatient when they don’t meet those expectations. Teaching them confidence is more important than where the fork goes.

“There's no advantage to hurrying through life." -Shikamaru Nara” 


·
Slow down: our impatience stems from the go, go life we have created. But when we are dealing with toddlers, we can’t rush past the world. They have only been here a short while and everything is interesting. Their curiosity about the world is limitless, so don’t rush them. Leave time in your schedule for looking at rocks and into store windows. My granddaughter is curious about everything. So when we are going out, I always leave much earlier than I have to. The other day we were going to lunch and a movie. On the way out of lunch, Tally spotted a vacant field with lots of rocks strewn about. Tally loves to collect rocks, so of course she wanted to explore. If I had not given myself extra time, I would have rushed her away from there to get to the movie on time. So slow down, make time for diversions, smell the follows and collect those rocks.

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. 
We shall get there some day.” 

Check out these websites for more information:

http://parentingsimply.com/stop-losing-it-with-your-kids-build-your-patience/

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/964189/how-to-become-more-patient-with-toddlers

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/960527/how-to-be-a-more-easygoing-mom

http://www.themomwrites.com/2012/09/stress-free-parenting-six-fun-and-easy-ways-to-be-more-patient-with-your-toddler.html

Thursday, April 2, 2015

To the Moon and Back



I had the honor of going to the moon with my 4 year old granddaughter Tally yesterday. We spent two hours building a bed out of leaves with grass pillows. We lay on our backs and looked at the clouds; each one of them was a different spaceship from a different planet. We had to fight off moon bears and tigers. Luckily, we were back on Earth by the time her mother arrived.


At 62, I never thought I would get down on the ground and lay in the leaves again... never thought I could get up either! But I wouldn't miss that experience for the world, so if you think you're too old, Grandma, to get down on the floor with your grandchildren...THINK AGAIN!



Monday, March 30, 2015

To Dance or Not to Dance




Who doesn’t love the sight of little girls all dressed in tutus dancing across a stage? We grandparents who sit in the audiences oohing and ahhing at our precious little girls may not know what it took to get them there, but I do. I have been in charge of taking my 4 year old granddaughter to dance class for the last year.

At first, she loved it. All the aunts and grandparents came to stand at the window and watch her. It was exciting. Then the it dwindled down to being just me at the window. I noticed right away that the only thing she really liked was that she could watch herself in the giant mirror on the wall. My Tally is a free spirit and there is nothing more frustrating for a free spirit that not being able to go with the flow of the music and learn a routine that she would perform with nine other little girls. They did the same thing over and over in preparation for that big night…Tally continued to do her own thing. She was often in tune with the other, but not always.

Then, it began to get even harder and harder to get her to go. First, she did not want to wear any kind of dance clothes. Then it was a down-right revolt every time I mentioned it was time for dance. Finally, her parents decided to “let it go” as Elsa would say. Tally and I rejoiced.

I remember when Tally’s mother was the same age, her father and I signed her up for dance, and she seemed to love it, but when it came time to go out on stage, she refused. It was not, I’ll admit, my finest hour. I urged, I threatened, and I bribed; she stood firm, she was NOT going out on that stage. I did not take it well; let us just say it was not my finest parenting hour and I cringe to this day, wishing I had taken her in my arms and calmed her fears.

How many other children right now are being forced to take lessons and do sports that they really don’t want to do? How many of you have said “My parents forced me to take piano lesson as a kid, and I hated it”?

So the question becomes, should these little ones be scheduled for these activities such as dance, gymnastics, soccer, piano lessons, etc. ‘"The more time kids had in less structured activities, the more self-directed they were and, also, the reverse was true: The more time they spent in structured activities, the less able they were to use executive function," said study author Yuko Munakata, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Colorado, Boulder.”

This is not to say that children should not take dance and kick the soccer ball around, but perhaps parents and grandparents need to listen and watch and see if that activity is right for that child at that time. My daughter who refused to go onstage at 4 spent most of her junior high and high school years performing in one play and musical after the other, enjoying herself the whole time. At 4 the time wasn’t right, but she is proof it might just be a matter of timing. Luckily, Tally has parents who did listen to her and now on Monday afternoon, instead of my having to beg and plead with Tally to go to dance, she can do whatever her imagination dictates. Today she and I are going to have a tea party!



As always, I am not an expert, so please check out these sites for information and both viewpoints:

I would love to hear from other parents and parents who have a different opinion. Please comment.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Scrapbooking with Grandkids: Part 1



Recently, my 4 years old granddaughter Tally asked if she could scrapbook with me. Well, of course, I said yes, and we put together a small scrapbook with spare pictures of her, her parents, the rest of the family and the pets. She especially loved searching through my huge stash of sticker and using my stamps and punches. I thought that would be her last interest in scrapbooking. But, I was wrong. She spoke about and showed her little scrapbook to everyone she saw and immediately asked me the next time she came over, “Can we scrapbook again?”

Displaying IMG_1063.JPGI was ready for her, since her Mom had given me a heads up. I had already found a larger scrapbook for her that she could use and prepared her own little desk area in my office so we can work side by side. She has her own supplies, stickers and punches (her favorite!).

Part I:

USING STICKERS TO LEARN THE ALPHABET

Scrapbooking with a child can be more than just a fun activity. Today, Tally and I were playing with alphabet stickers, and I decided I could use them to enhance what she learns in school.

1. I had her locate the letter on the sticker page..

2. I picked up a sticker and asked her what the letter or number was.

3. As we put sticker letters down, I started to have us spell out basic words.

4. She loved spelling out her name, along with other people in the family.


Displaying IMG_1068.JPG


More to follow on scrapbooking with children……

Monday, March 23, 2015

Reading Aloud: Fun for All



"Grandma, read me a story," Nothing's better to hear. We love to cuddle with them in a chair and read them book after book. But did you know that reading aloud is good for your grandchildren at all ages?






1. Reading to preschool-age children can enlarge their vocabulary thus encouraging greater success when they start school.


2. Reading out load will also increase the child's attention span. This is a good skill to encourage in any child. So many children who are being diagnosed with ADD could just be children who were never encouraged to develop their attention span.


3. If you read to them, they will see reading as an enjoyable activity, and they will then read on their own as they get older. Attitude is everything! It creatives a positive image of reading, especially if he/she sees you reading on your own also. This can develop in the child a lifelong interest in reading.


4. Childen have a disconnect between their listening vocabulary and their reading one.  They can often understand far more words than they can read.  Reading to them helps to close that gap.


5. Teachers say that reading to children is the most important way to language development.


6. It also builds curiosity and memory.


7. Reading also enhances the child's creativity and imagination.


8. Reading different kinds of books as the child grows older (such as poetry, short stories, biographies) creates a more thorough background knowledge. This knowledge is an asset when the child starts school.

But reading is not just for the little ones, older children also benefit from this activity, even into their teens. If you think it would be hard to get the older children to sit down and listen, try tying it to something like a long road trip or clearing the table at night. When my children were in their teens, one person would read out loud and the others would clear the table. Look for these opportunities.


Suggested Reading List

TEENS

To Kill a Mockingbird

The Graveyard Book

All Alone int the Universe

Ender's Game

Kidnapped

The Hunger Games

The Maze Runner

Ronia: The Robber's Daughter

Number the Stars

A Wrinkle in Time

Island of the Blue Dolphin

Island of the Blue Dolpin

TEENS & SCHOOL AGE (possible pre-school)

The Chronicles of Narnia

Harry Potter series

Matilda

Stuart Little

The Litlte Prince

Madeline

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

The Giving Tree

Where the Sidewalk Ends

Half Magic

Stellaluna

Good Night i-Pad

From the Mixed up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Franweiler

The Best Christmas Pageant Eve

The Polar Express

The Secret Garden

Little House on the Prairie

Peter Pan

Alices Adventures in Wonderland

Strawberry Girl

Please share any other books or ideas for encouraging out loud reading.








Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Helicopter (Grand)Parents



In 1969, Dr. Haim Ginott penned the term “helicopter parents” in his book Parents and Teenagers, but in 2015 that term can be applied to any parent figure: parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles who are overly involved in a child’s life, someone who is over controlling and over perfecting. The desire for having the world see our child or grandchild as perfect in the eyes of the world tends to leave us with children who can’t take care of themselves and who never can appreciate their own accomplishments because they are not really their own.

When we hover over these children, we lead them to have decreased confidence and self-esteem. I often take my granddaughter to programs at the local library. The programs usually consist of reading books on a specific topic and then making a craft. My daughter related a story of a recent library event where the children were asked to line up three paper carrots with numbers on them and then put the appropriate number of carrots stems on each. So the carrot with the three on it got three stems…I’m sure you get the idea. My granddaughter is only four and tends to want to do things her own way, so her carrots were not very well lined up and the stems were a little askew, but she got the main idea, which was the point of the craft. When my daughter looked up, the other children’s carrots were perfectly lined up and there were even some parents redoing their child’s craft while the child played nearby. The children whose crafts were really done by the parent didn’t seem very enthusiastic about them, but my granddaughter ran up to everyone to show her carrots…she was very proud. I myself have seen this happen time and again with both parents and grandparents, and have always felt for the children. They never learn a sense of pride in their own work. We really do want to foster independent children, not ones who sit back and let us do everything for them or direct them to do everything “our way.” The results of that can be long reaching.

As a college professor for 35 years, I have taught the young people who are a result of this “over parenting.” Without parents there to give the teacher excuses or to do the work for them, they flounder and often have no idea of what they are capable of. They often continually ask when assignments are due because they have never had to keep track of them on their own. They also expect that their minimal effort will garner them and “A.” These students struggle not only with the material they are learning in each class, but also struggle with how to be a student: manage their time, organize themselves, set goals, and make priorities. These are skills they weren’t given the chance to learn.

In addition to having to deal with these students, I still have to deal with “helicopter” parents, even in college. Legally, if their child is 18 or over, I cannot discuss any aspect of their child’s work or grades. I can’t tell them about attendance or behavior. This comes as a great shock to these parents. They are just beginning to realize that without their constant attention and hovering, they child will crash and burn. And I suggest that is not the worst thing that can happen. Often students begin to realize that not only do they have to step up and take care of themselves, but they are capable of doing so. Those students succeed and for the first time in their lives feel a real sense of accomplishment. Those who are still so addicted to their parents taking care of everything are the ones who just disappear in the middle of the semester.

The time to assure that the child will have the ability and desire to succeed on their own starts when they are little. Our job as caregiver, whether it is as a parent or grandparent, is to not raise children, but to raise adults.

According to Deborah Gilboa, M.D., founder of AskDoctorG.com, “Remembering to look for opportunities to take one step back from solving our child's problems will help us build the reliant, self-confident kids we need."



(Check out the article on http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/)

Friday, March 6, 2015

On Vacation and Still in Touch


This week I am on vacation down in Florida, and my granddaughter and I miss each other very much. But that has been a little bit alleviated by the few Facetime chats we have had.

I see now, how important technology has become for long distance grandparents. Both Skype and Facetime let those grandparents who do not get to see their grandchild all the time, to still become a familiar face..

Even if you say you are not "good with the computer" it is to your very distinct advantage to become, if not good, at least passably good.

Many public libraries have classes on using the computer, and some of those classes are on specific subjects like Skype or how to make the most of your cell phone.

So, let prove to our grandchildren that we can be the "cool" grandparents and can meet them where they live, on their cellphones... next week, on to  Facebook.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

This Party's for the Birds (and animals)


Today my granddaughter and I went outside to make a "cake" for the many animals and birds that struggle in this snow-filled cold weather.

We had some vegetables that we purchased from the grocery store's day-old sections and added some birdseed and stray carrots from my refrigerator. We found a mound of snow that we could see from the window and Tally and I placed all the vegetables and seeds surrounding the mound of snow.

She had to go home before we had any guests arrive at our party, but I promised her that I would try to film any who arrived!


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

IMAGINATIONS AT PLAY: A place that lives up to its name



   
 This week is Winter Break for the children here on Long Island, so, since Tally didn’t have school, I decided to take her to a place that I had heard so much about: Imaginations at Play in Ronkonkoma. My daughter had taken my granddaughter there before, so I had it from a reliable source that we would have fun (or at least Tally would).

     When we arrived, I scanned the area and found what I think is a unique set-up. To the right were tables, chairs, benches and a café, but the magic was to the left. There were cubicles about 15 feet square, each with a different theme: one filled with building blocks and Legos©; the next was devoted to all things pirate. The next, and the one Tally gravitated to first, was filled with dress-up clothes and a stage. Next to that were similar cubicles with a kitchen/store set-up, dollhouse set-up, art station, and sandbox. Next to the sandbox was a large water table (they provide waterproof smocks). Finally, Tally took me to her favorite part; around the corner was a huge bounce castle and next to that a large jungle gym. But the most refreshing thing was that there wasn't a computer or video game in sight. The energy there was all supplied by the imaginations of the children.

 The place was packed, but you really wouldn't know it. There was no waiting to do anything, and I always found a chair where I could sit and watch Tally. She is such an amazing little person, and this little excursion has given me the time and opportunity to revel in that.

Since we adults were basically just observers, I got the chance to see the other children there. One of the things I noticed was that with a few minor exceptions, the children shared all the toys together and played well. I was amazed when my granddaughter just walked up to a group of girls playing on the stage and joined them, not hanging back, as an adult might do, to see if she would be asked to join them. She just assumed they would want to play with her, and they did. 





Check out their website:

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

It is Not Us vs. Them: Agreeing to Disagree



One of the most wonderful relationships we can have is with our grandchildren, but one of the things about that close relationship is that once in a while we step on the parents’ toes. Since it is their child, we, as grandparents, have to find a way to have that close relationships we want and at the same time respect the parents.

Here are some suggestions to help that relationship stay healthy.
1. Don’t criticize: there is certainly more than one way to parent, and that way may not be the same as ours. Raising a child is hard enough without feeling the sting of our telling them they aren’t doing a good job.

2. If you disagree, don’t let the kids know: Even when you disagree with what the parents are doing, make sure you don’t say anything in front of the child. This is their Mom and Dad, don’t undermine their authority or make the child feel uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong with having a conversation with the parents when the children are asleep.

3. Unsolicited advice: DON’T—if they ask, answer their questions; otherwise, keep it to yourself.

4. Define your role and what your limits are: In this age when our children may need us to help with daycare for our grandchildren, we must be sure of what we can and can’t do, and make sure we clearly state this to the parents. When my younger daughter was an infant, she spent one day a week with my husband’s parents. We thought it was a wonderful plan. It helped with some of our child care issues and gave Courtney one-on-one time with her grandparents. When I got pregnant with my second daughter, my mother-in-law was direct with us that she didn’t feel that she and my father-in-law were able to care for two small children, especially with one being an infant and the other a toddler. I was grateful that she was honest. This honesty helped to make what could have been awkward for both her and me and my husband into something positive.

5. Respect the food choices of the parents: There are some areas where there will naturally be some conflict and none more contentious than differences in food choices. With the interest in vegetarian and vegan diets, I expect these choices by our children might be upsetting. But before we criticize (see rule #1) why not do some research? It might waylay your fears that your grandchild will be undernourished.

6. Don’t discipline the children when they parents are there to do it: this might be the biggest issue that parents have. Although when you are alone with your grandchild you certainly can’t allow them to misbehave, but when the parents are there, we need to step back and let them take over. If the child has truly misbehaved then he/she needs some discipline. We should not say “Oh, don’t punish him” or “She’s sorry.” We don’t want to undermine the authority of the parents, so if the punishment is not abusive, we need to bite our tongues. But the opposite might be true; we might think the punishment is too lenient. If you came from a generation where physical punishment was the norm, you have to understand that most parents frown on that and we must respect that. Having come from a “spare the rod, spoil the child” generation, I know that hitting a child is really no way to teach a child proper behavior. And, after all, isn’t that what discipline is for?


One of my favorite quotes is “It takes a village to raise a child,” and I believe that we can partner with the parents to raise extraordinary children. But we can’t do that if we alienate the parents.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

“It Takes a Village…” The Important Role of Aunts and Uncles



As a child in the 1950’s I always thought of my Aunt Nora as the cool aunt. Instead of being the typical stay-at-home mom, Aunt Nora worked as a secretary for the Republican Party. More importantly, she always made a point of taking only me to the beach when my family visited her in Florida. On the way back to her house, we’d stop at A&W where the waitress skated up to the car and served us with frosty mugs of root beer. The sand from our feet covered the carpet but that didn’t bother Aunt Nora. We sat in her car, chatting and giggling. I don’t know whether I felt more grown up or if Aunt Nora felt like a kid again, or both, but I never felt more special. Years later when I visited, she had a friend take my sister and me for rides in his airplane. She looked so cool, so Jackie O, sitting in the co-piolet’s seat wearing a scarf around her hair and large white sunglasses. To this day, I am a huge fan of big sunglasses. I always feel so sophisticated when I wear them, just like her.

My granddaughter has four aunts and no “official” uncles (meaning none of her aunts are married, yet.) But they all have boyfriends who serve the uncle role and have forged their own special relationships with Tally. These non-parental relationships are so important to kids. Children can distinguish between a parent’s obligation to spend time with them and the aunt and uncle’s voluntary devotion of their time simply because they want to. That can have a great impact on the child’s character and self-esteem.


Aunt Tiffany’s roles in Tally’s life are numerous, but one of the most important is as a role model. She was an honor student in high school, graduated college with a 4.0 GPA and now works as a para legal with aspirations to attend law school. Tally attended Tiffany’s graduation ceremonies and came to understand the importance of an education. Tally adores her Aunt Tiffany and wants to be just like her. (the photos seen here are from an outing to the bowling alley with Aunt Tiffany and Uncle Foster).

Role model aunts and uncles can have an enormous impact on their nieces and nephews. They can highlight the importance of an education and of having a goal and working hard to achieve it. They can show their nieces and nephews the proper way to interact with people. Showing respect will convey the message that this is the right way to behave. Remember, little eyes are always watching.

Both Aunt Tiffany and Aunt Katie are “cool” aunts, like my Aunt Nora. The definition of cool for a kid is much different than it might be for an adult. Cool aunts do things with their nieces and nephews that the children may not get to do with their parents. Spending time one-on-one with the child shows him/her the aunt feels he/she is special. Going to ball games and getting a mani/pedi go a long way to making a cool aunt. In a family with more than one child, these individual outings can immediately earn one the title of “cool.”

Having little rituals with the child that is unique to just the two of you also adds to the child’s sense of importance. Tally’s Aunt Katie does not just kiss her good-bye. They stick out their tongues at each other. I can see in the future, perhaps at one of Tally’s graduations, her seeing her aunt in the audience, greeting her by sticking out her tongues, a sign of the special relationship the two of them have.


Making time to participate in a child’s activities can bring the aunt or uncle into a strange but entertaining world of imagination and fantasy. Play their video games, watch their movies, read the same book they are reading, etc. But don’t forget that kids also like being brought into the aunt/uncle’s world. If the aunt or uncle loves photography, buy your niece/nephew an inexpensive camera or let them use your phone and take them on a photography day at the beach or a local park. This experience can also lead to working with them on computer programs such as Photoshop that enhance their pictures and can bring out other aspects of their creativity.


So, for all the aunts and uncles who don’t see their relationship with their nieces and nephews as crucial…I beg to differ.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

The Simpsons, Tally & I: Sharing Your Interests with your Grandchild




Tally and I wait, not quite patiently, for the mailman to come. What are we waiting for, you ask? The latest Simpson’s character action figure to arrive to add to our collection. I have found this shared collection has been a great way to connect with my granddaughter.

I own a collection of Simpson action figures, which my granddaughter noticed a few months ago and asked to play with. She enjoyed playing make-believe with them. She would always ask me what the character’s name was and who he/she was related to. Eventually, she asked to watch The Simpsons. With Mom’s permission, she and I have watched more episodes than I can even recall. She loves to hold up one of the characters when it comes on the screen. But when a character comes on the screen that we do not have, she gets my laptop, and we search to see if we can find one online. As we search, I show her how to tell if something is a good price and even to look at the seller’s feedback.

Through this collection, I have found a buddy to share my interests with, and Tally has learned some valuable lessons about memory, the value of things, and even, through the looking at the feedback, that is important to be reliable and do what you said you would do. My suggestion to other grandparents and parents is to look at your own interests and hobbies and see how you can bring the child in your life into them with you. You will enjoy time even more with your grandchild and will be creating unique memories for both of you.

And yes, our waiting for the mailman was worth it. Mr. Smither’s arrived that day and Tally was thrilled.” We are still waiting for Apu. 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Today is National Cancer Day: How to talk to children about cancer




Today is National Cancer Day, so I thought it would be appropriate to look at how we tell the children in our lives that someone they love has cancer. When my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer, he chose to have radiation treatment. He joked that he was “Radioactive Man,” but the downside to it was that he could not hold or even be very close to our granddaughter for a few months. He had to make sure he positioned himself far enough away from her at the dinner table, and couldn’t have her sit on his lap. Since Tally was very young, my daughter told her simply that Grandpa was sick, but he would be able to hold her soon. When “soon” arrived, it was a joyous moment for both.


In making the decision what to tell a child about a cancer diagnosis the most important thing is the child’s age. The younger they are, the more basic the information should be. If you decide to tell them nothing, remember, kids know more than we think and if you do not tell them, they will imagine something much worse. The truth is always the best.

I am not an expert, so I will be handing you off at this point to the good people at the American Cancer Society who are. http://www.cancer.org/treatment/childrenandcancer/helpingchildrenwhenafamilymemberhascancer/dealingwithdiagnosis/dealing-with-diagnosis-how-to-tell-children

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Fundraising for Wounded Warriors


Since one of things I believe is important to teach our grandchildren is to give back, I have decided to use this blog to help raise funds for Wounded Warriors. I have designed a t-shirt that illustrates my thoughts on being a grandma...

https://www.bonfirefunds.com/tattoo-grandmas-wounded-warriors





Happy Valentine’s Day: Give the Gift of Reading


Valentine’s Day is a day, once a year, we set aside to devote to those we love. Although most people focus on romantic love, we grandparents know there is no love greater than that we have for our grandchildren.

With Valentine’s Day just over a week away, it is time to think of the best way to remind our grandchildren how much we care. Candy is great, but is gone very quickly. Stuff animals join the numerous others the child has and are soon forgotten, but a gift that arrives every month is truly the gift that last the whole year long. Consider giving your grandchild a magazine subscription. What child does not love to get mail sent directly to them? Although digital versions are usually available for magazine, they can’t cut out picture for their walls!
Suggestions (descriptions for the magazines are taken from the Amazon website. See links to order your subscriptions):

Preschool:  
National Geographic Little Kids: “Captivating stories and interactive games teach children about amazing animals, cool science, and families around the world. Plus each issue comes with Wild Animal Cards!
Highlights Five:” designed to set young children on the path to becoming curious, creative, caring, confident individuals. It’s just right for preschoolers and kindergartners!”
Clubhouse Junior: “Faith-filled fun for youngsters (ages 3-7). Creative stories, fascinating articles, puzzles, craft ideas and more are packed into each issue of Clubhouse Jr. Magazine. You'll love the way this bright and colorful kid’s magazine reinforces biblical values and helps boys and girls explore their world.
Humpty Dumpty Magazine: “A 2012 Parents' Choice Approved Award Winner, Humpty Dumpty is ideal for kids ages 3-5 who are learning to read independently. Stories, poems, cartoons, puzzles, games, recipes and crafts are designed with an emergent reader in mind, reinforcing healthy lifestyle messages and promoting core values.
School-Age
National Geographic Kids: “Articles and departments entertain and inspire readers to learn about their world with amazing information about animals, science, technology, archaeology, geography, and pop culture, plus jokes, games, activities in every issue.
Highlights for Children: “delivers puzzles, science projects, jokes and riddles to challenge young minds, while characters in regular features like Hidden Pictures, The Timbertoes, Goofus and Gallant and the Bear Family, keep children coming back like good friends should.”
Cricket: “Cricket feeds the minds and imaginations of kid’s ages 9 - 14. Every issue of Cricket is filled with stories, poems, puzzles, recipes, and science and nature articles - all designed to stimulate the imagination and help young people discover and explore the world around them.”
Ranger Rick Jr.: “Ranger Rick Jr. is for children aged 3 to 7 years. Filled with fun activities, simple stories and wild animals that the little ones love. Ranger Rick Jr. draws preschoolers closer to nature and gets them ready to read. Youngsters will enjoy the seasonal crafts, simple cooking recipes, fun games, and more.” 
Sports Illustrated Kids: “Sports Illustrated KIDS delivers the excitement, passion, and fun of sports to kids, tweens and young teens in an action-oriented, authentic and interactive style. The authority on kids and sports, SI KIDS reflects the interests and humor of its audience.
Teens
Teen Vogue:” a fashion magazine for teenagers who are passionate about style, the fashion industry, beauty, health, and entertainment news.
 American Girl: “Created especially for girls age 8 and up, American Girl is an appealing, age-appropriate alternative to teen magazines. Features advice, crafts, contests, puzzles, games, giggles, and more!
Popular Science:  the world’s largest science and technology magazine
The New York Times Upfront: “Adapted directly from the pages of the New York Times, Upfront makes today’s biggest news stories relevant to teens. It has everything you’d expect from a current affairs magazine you’d pick up at a newsstand: thought-provoking national and international news reports, compelling photography, startling statistics, and world-renowned journalism. The only difference is that Upfront is specifically designed for high schoolers and makes the news relevant to you. When you put Upfront on your Kindle, you’re putting the world at your fingertips.” 
Car and Driver: “the world of cars and advances that are being made in the automobile industry.
Computer Graphics World: latest in CG community
Sports Illustrated: all sports
Seventeen: “Seventeen is a general service magazine for young women emphasizing fashion, beauty and lifestyle information, including health, food, careers, relationships, sports and entertainment.
Discovery Girls (preteen) – Mission Statement for magazine: “To encourage you to love all that you are; to further your independence through a belief in your own abilities; to guide you through the most difficult of times; to excite you with choices you never knew you had; to give you a voice