Wednesday, April 15, 2015

I want patience and I want it now!





Patience is a two way street. Although it is a good thing to help our grandchildren develop patience, it is also a good thing for us, especially when we are dealing with toddlers. Here are some great suggestions to help us move toward patience.


Toddlers have no concept of time, so this is a good time to help them learn patience. One way to do that is to anticipate when their might be waiting and have something on hand to help them pass the time. For example, if you know you will be waiting in line at the grocery store, the following might be helpful:


· Play I SPY: you can have toddlers find shapes, colors, or letter/numbers

· Thumb wrestling

· Color/ shape hunt

· Alphabet hunt

· “I’m going on a trip”: say “I’m going on a trip; what would I pack?”

· Paper and crayons with a small clip board: it is always a great idea to be prepared; you can purchase small clip boards at the dollar store with small note pads.

· Small toys that only come out in line: I like to collect the small toys from McDonalds

· Small snacks

· Pipe cleaners…make into alphabet and shapes

The key to helping your toddler develop patience is dependent on your being prepared. Do you like waiting on lines? Can you get impatient? So do our toddlers, but it is easy for us to help them (and us) be more a patient waiter by thinking beforehand how we can solve the problem. And, don’t forget to praise them when they have acted patiently.




Now for us… we too have to learn to develop patience when dealing with toddlers. They learn how to behave from watching those around them… be a good example.

· Stop thinking like an adult: we will be better able to have patience with our toddlers if we try to think like a toddler. We need to remember that they are often acting out of frustration. If we can find out what they are frustrated about, we can help.

·
When my children were young, I often got frustrated with them when they would not do exactly what I wanted. For example, I would pick out clothes for them to wear to school and they would rebel. That dress was too tight, those leggings itched, etc. Now I knew better than to say, “Well, pick out your own clothes.” What I came up with was the simple concept of choices. I would pick out two outfits and give then a choice. The decision was theirs what to wear and they felt in control. Our frustration with them and their frustration with us often stems from their wanting to have more control over themselves.

· Lower your expectations: We often lose patience with toddlers (and all children... husbands, too) when we place too much importance on something. Does the bed have to be made with strict precisions and perfect corners? Does the fork have to be on the left? Does your toddler’s pants have to match the top? When we set impossibly high goals for our children, we get impatient when they don’t meet those expectations. Teaching them confidence is more important than where the fork goes.

“There's no advantage to hurrying through life." -Shikamaru Nara” 


·
Slow down: our impatience stems from the go, go life we have created. But when we are dealing with toddlers, we can’t rush past the world. They have only been here a short while and everything is interesting. Their curiosity about the world is limitless, so don’t rush them. Leave time in your schedule for looking at rocks and into store windows. My granddaughter is curious about everything. So when we are going out, I always leave much earlier than I have to. The other day we were going to lunch and a movie. On the way out of lunch, Tally spotted a vacant field with lots of rocks strewn about. Tally loves to collect rocks, so of course she wanted to explore. If I had not given myself extra time, I would have rushed her away from there to get to the movie on time. So slow down, make time for diversions, smell the follows and collect those rocks.

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. 
We shall get there some day.” 

Check out these websites for more information:

http://parentingsimply.com/stop-losing-it-with-your-kids-build-your-patience/

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/964189/how-to-become-more-patient-with-toddlers

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/960527/how-to-be-a-more-easygoing-mom

http://www.themomwrites.com/2012/09/stress-free-parenting-six-fun-and-easy-ways-to-be-more-patient-with-your-toddler.html

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