WINTER BREAK WITH THE GRANDKIDS

When most of us grandparents were young, there was no such thing as a Winter Break, but for our grandkids, there is. With parents working, you may be enlisted to help keep the little ones active.

My daughter and her husband don’t NEED me to help during the Winter Break, but I want to spend more time with my granddaughter, so this is a golden opportunity.

My granddaughter is eight, going on nine. I thought I might take her into NYC for a show, but the only one this girl has not seen was Beetlejuice, which is apparently a big hit and has no tickets available.

Plan B? Didn’t have one, so I went in search of some ideas.

Treasure Hunt: I love the idea of a treasure hunt because it can be adapted to just about any situation.

·         Museum: do a bit of research to find out what items they have on display. Next, make a paper with pictures or for older kids just words. If you are dealing with teens, you can even have them take pictures of what they find on their phones. Or have younger ones write down things like where it was or a little something about the exhibit.

·         Outside: you can take the children to a local park (I know it’s cold) and have them locate items like a rock that looks like something else or a feather. If they collect rocks, perhaps you can have them paint them when they get home. The older the kids the harder you can make the treasure hunt. On Long Island, we have a place named Connetquot State Park on Sunrise Highway and there are animals living in their woods. You can make it an animal treasure hunt to see how many animals they can see.

·         In both these areas, you can have them search for items that begin with each letter of the alphabet.

Go to the Library: Many libraries have play areas for younger kids and books, magazines, and video games for older kids.

Cook: with shows like Chopped Junior on Food network so popular, its obvious kids like to cook. Again, adjust what you cook to the age of the child. Let them decide what to have for lunch and have them make it.

Here’s a link to Food Network for some other suggestions: https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/packages/recipes-for-kids/cooking-with-kids

Play board games: Let each child pick their favorite game and then play them in order of age, youngest to oldest. If the game for the older kids is too hard for the little ones, have them partner with a grandparent and play as a team.

Travel: if you have the money, traveling with grandkids can be very exciting and rewarding both for the kids and grandparents. I live on Long Island, so a trip to NYC is only a train ride away. There my granddaughter and I can go see a show, take in a museum, and even go visit Alice in Wonderland in Central Park. You can take them skiing. You don’t have to ski, it’s fun just watching them on the bunny slopes. Or take them to an ice rink and get them up on the ice.

If you don’t or can’t go far, a day trip to the movies or bowling is often just as good.

It is not always what you do, but it is spending time with your grandkids. Remember, it’s the time we spend with them that they will remember.

When Grandma Has Cancer

As you can see from the date on the last entry in this blog, I have not been posting for the last few years. The reason for that is I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in October 2018. I had seven rounds of aggressive chemotherapy with stays in the hospital in between. In May 2019, I had surgery and was in remission for the summer and early fall of 2019. Then the bad news, the cancer came back.

Along with the posts about grandparenting, I want to use this blog to help grandparents and others to help the children in their lives to understand, live and thrive when “Grandma has cancer.”

The first question most people have is should they tell their children about a cancer diagnosis in the family. The answer, of course, is always up to the parents. Some parents believe their children are not capable of understanding and telling them would just upset them.  It is always your choice as a parent to tell the child or not but remember that the child might find out anyway and feel very betrayed. I live on Long Island and have my home phone through Cablevision. When my phone rings, the number, and name come up on the television. When the hospital calls, the name “Cancer Center” comes up on the television. My granddaughter spends time at my house and could have seen that on the television screen. Fortunately, she had been told right away, so she wasn’t shocked.

Children are very perceptive and will sense there is something wrong. They often see the world through their own filter, seeing themselves at the center. They may sense you are keeping something from them and worry needlessly. Children need to be dealt with honestly.

If you choose to tell them, make sure to prepare yourself for it, even going so far as writing down what you want to say. Make sure to use words that are encouraging, not frightening, but the most important thing is, to be honest.

Try to keep your tone calm and reassuring. Let them cry but don’t be upset if they show no emotion at all. Just like adults, children need time to process information and might come back to you later for more information.

          It is important to understand that the first conversation is not the last. Children often have a lot of questions and it’s ok to say, “I don’t know.” But what is important is that you find the answer to the questions, so the child feels respected and that their questions are important to you.

          One of the questions they often ask which can be difficult is “Is Grandma going to die?” Don’t lie. The reality is that some people do, and some don’t Again, be honest. If you say “no,” and then Grandma dies, the child will feel that you betrayed him or her. 

Dr. Karen Rancourt has some suggestions on how to respond to this question on the website MommyBites:

·         “Sometimes people do die from cancer. We’re not expecting that to happen because the doctors have told us they have very good treatments these days, and Grandma’s type of cancer usually does go away with treatment.”

·         “The doctors have told us that Grandma’s chances of being cured are very good. We’re going to believe that until we have reason to believe something else. We hope you can believe that too. We’ll tell you if we find out anything new or different.”

·         “There is no way to know right now what’s going to happen. We’ll know more after the first treatments are finished. When we know more, we’ll be sure to tell you.”

·         “Right now, there’s not a lot known about the kind of cancer Grandma has. But Grandma is going to give it her best shot and do everything she can to get well.”

·         “Grandma’s cancer is a hard one to treat but she is going to do everything she can to get better. No one can know right now what will happen down the road. What you can be sure of is that we’ll be honest with you about what is going on. If you can’t stop worrying, please tell me so that we can work on that together.”

Children are often scared that it might be contagious. Make sure they understand it is not, and the person who has been diagnosed didn’t do anything to cause this.

If there will any changes to the child’s routine, perhaps you will be taking Grandma or Grandpa to his or her radiation or chemo. Make sure the child knows what is going on. If it affects them, reassure them that they will be taken care of. They need to know that you are still there looking out for them.

Many treatments have side effects such as nausea and hair loss. In my first adventure with cancer, I lost my hair about halfway through and began to wear a hat to cover up my balding head. My 7-year-old Granddaughter was fascinated with what I was hiding under the hat. I am not really a “hat person,” but I felt I really rocked those chemo caps. When she asked me about it, I took it off, so she could see my bald head. I let her know that I didn’t really take the hat off for just anyone, but she was special. Later, when it started growing back, so felt comfortable enough to suggest some hair dye to cover my gray.

The key is for the child to feel safe and involved. If there is anything they can do, let them. I had a hard time during my first rounds of chemo, often having

to go to the hospital. During Christmas time of 2018, it looked as if I was going to be still in the hospital for Christmas. One Saturday before Christmas, my daughter and granddaughter came to the hospital, and we made paper snowflakes and decorations with pipe cleaners. When they left, my hospital room looked like a snowy wonderland. I was so happy, and my granddaughter felt like she had done something to make Grandma happy. The family even brought Christmas Eve to me, with a lasagna dinner, funny Christmas headbands, and lots of presents. You can have the child make cards, visit, make phone calls, or, even better, use Face Time.  

The most important thing is that Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa are on the same page. If you are the parent, it’s important to ask the patient what he or she wants.

References

Goldstein, C. (n.d.). How can I talk to young children about a grandparent's cancer? Retrieved from Child Mind Insitute: https://childmind.org/ask-an-expert-qa/how-can-i-talk-to-young-children-about-a-grandparents-cancer/

McCue, K. (n.d.). When a grandparent has cancer. Retrieved from Coping with Cancer: https://www.copingmag.com/coping-with-cancer/when-a-grandparent-has-cancer

Rancourt, K. (2012, February 16). How to tell my children their grandmother has cancer? Retrieved from MommyBites: https://mommybites.com/col2/moms/how-to-tell-my-children-their-grandmother-has-cancer/

“I’m Bored!”: What to do with the kids this summer

It’s time to start thinking what you are going to do with your kids or grandkids this summer that helps them have fun AND maybe learn some new skills.  The first thing you need to do is ask your children what they are looking forward to doing during the summer. LISTEN when they talk and resist the urge to cut in with comments like, “Do you know how expensive that is?” or “Where are we going to find a place to do that?” Write their suggestions down; it shows them you are listening to them and helps you remember what they said. This begins to build the child’s self-esteem. They feel like their ideas are valued. When my daughter and her husband asked my six-year-old granddaughter what she wanted to do this summer, she said, “art and science.” No more details than that.. that leads to the next step.

The next step is a family meeting (include grandma and grandpa if they will be watching the kids during the summer) Go over each idea and explore ways to make that happen.

What if your kids don’t have many ideas?
Here are some to consider:

•  Explore local playgrounds. This is a great way for your kids to make new friends and maybe set up some playdates.A lot of kids have anxiety; learning yoga might help.
• Check out local libraries. They often have yoga programs
• Go  to local parks and explore art. Use watercolors.
• Since what’s on TV is often reruns over the summer, how about a once a week game night?
• How about a family puzzle: find a table where it can be left out and the whole family can work on it when they have nothing else to do?
•  Have the kids plan a picnic for outside. Let them have complete control of the menu, the cooking (with supervision) This is great time to start teaching them how to cook.
•  If you have the space, let the kids each plant what they want in the yard, with it being their responsibility to weed and water. If you don’t have the space or live in an apartment, as I do, you can check out if there is a community garden in the area.
• Many local libraries, museums, and parks have free programs.
• Often many local theatres have $1.00 movie days.
•  What is their fun to do in your backyard? Look for croquet sets and badminton nets and rackets at garage sales and thrift stores.
• For older kids, play Words with Friends with them. They will enlarge their vocabulary to be able to beat you!!
• Many local parks have free outdoor concerts.
• Encourage your kids to make visions boards. (look for my next post to discuss creating these)
• Is your child interested in art? Get them their own sketchbook.
•  Don’t forget to sign them up at your local library for the reading club.

        NEXT WEEK WE WILL EXPLORE MAKING VISION BOARDS

Vision Boards

So here on Long Island, we are expecting 12-18 inches of snow tomorrow , so you know what that means, the kids are home from school and within a few hours the novelty of No School has worn off and now you hear, “I’m bored.” Often, Mom and Dad run out of ideas after, “build a snowman,” so here are some other ideas to make your day fun and memorable, both for you and your kids.

1.    Make homemade playdough or finger paints (all recipes can be found online for this and all other projects)

2.    Have an indoor picnic—if you have a fire, eat in front of the fire.

3.    Bring a baby pool inside with snow to play and make snow castles

4.    Play board games or card games

5.    Feed the birds by putting peanut butter on a pine cone and then cover with birdseed.

6.    Have the kids choose the dinner menu and have them help you make it

7.    Play bath: my granddaughter loves to just go into the bathtub and play in there.

8.    Look on YouTube for fun and easy science experiments

9.    Finally, this is my favorite, make vision boards.

VISION Boards with Kids

Purpose: a vision board is used to visualize your goals and dreams, using old magazines, drawings, newspapers, etc.

Materials

·      Cardboard or any paper that you can glue things to; poster board work well

·      Glue (glue sticks work best)

·      Old magazines or newspapers, even junk mail can be used.

·      Crayons

·      Markers

Instructions

1.    Have the kids decide on what goals or dreams they have for themselves…a little like asking, “What do you want to be/do when you grow up?”

2.    Then they can go to the magazines and cut out pictures and words that represent those goals.

3.    If they can’t find those pictures, they can draw then and then paste the drawing on their vision board.

4.    After they are done, they can present them to the family, explaining what each picture means. The family can then talk about how they can go about achieving that goal or dream. You will be surprised what you can learn about each other with this project.

5.    Parents: don’t forget to do this along with them. Many adults use vision boards to conceptualize their own goals.

An Artist is Born!

Every picture my granddaughter Tally makes me is a masterpiece and the artist loves to see her work displayed. But she is a very prolific artist and my refrigerator is not big enough to display them all. Then I got an idea—a rotating gallery, but not on my refrigerator.

I had a square plastic frame from a print that used to hang in my bathroom at one time. I wasn’t going to use it anymore, but didn’t want to get rid of it.  Then I noticed the latest picture Tally had made for me waiting on my desk. It would either go on the frig or in a file I keep. But what good is having such great art if I didn’t display it? An idea was born!

When you walk in my house, this is now what greets you.

The next time she draws a picture, I intend to ask her if it should take the place of the one in the frame. If no, it goes in the file; if yes, it goes in the frame and the one in there goes in the file.

For all you Moms and Dads, this is a great way to provide an opportunity to boost your child’s self-esteem and have some great artwork for your walls. 

Grandpa's Hair

“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."  From The Velveteen Rabbit

My husband Jim regrets that he cannot spend as much time with our 5-year-old granddaughter as he would like, so he has developed ways to keep the connection alive. First, when they greet each other and leave, they beep each other’s noses. It is a special ritual between just the two of them.

He is constantly looking for new ways to connect. One day, she asked him what happened to his hair (my husband has the typical loss of hair on the top for a man his age). He told her he didn’t know where it was; he lost it.

He thought she had forgotten that conversation, but the next time she saw him, she told him, “Grandpa, I looked for your hair at school but it wasn’t there. Don’t worry; I’ll find it”

From then on, wherever she goes, she makes sure to tell him she looked. He knows that even though he’s not able to be with her, she still thinks about him as much as he does her. 

The Death of Harembe: A Lesson to be Learned

I will admit that I am not a fan of zoos. This is an opinion I am ashamed to say I came to late in life. My personal view is that we have no right to take animals out of their natural environment for our amusement. But when we do, we need to provide protection for these animals, and that protection needs to include safeguards from those who visit them.

Over the years, many people have entered the enclosures these animals live in and endanger themselves and the animals. An Australian tourist, wanting to get a better photo, scaled two fences to get to a 1,200 pound polar bear. A zoo worker came to her rescue, and she only suffered a broken leg and lacerations. The polar bear was uninjured. Somehow this was seen as the bear’s fault.

In 2012, a 2-year-old boy was perched on a railing in the Pittsburgh Zoo above the African Wild Dogs enclosure. He fell, bounced off the protective netting and fell into the enclosure. Three of the dogs attacked and bit him on the head and torso. The police opened fire, but one of the dogs refused to leave the child and he died of his injuries…a terrible tragedy.

In 1996, at the Brookfield Zoo, a 3-year-old climbed over the gorilla enclosure and fell 20 feet.  A female gorilla with her baby on her back cradled the boy and carried him to safety. The gorilla was not injured and the boy made a full recovery.

It would be good to say that was the case every time, but it is not, as witnessed by the tragedy at the Cincinnati Zoo this past week. A three-year-old boy also fell into a gorilla’s enclosure. The various videos taken show this male gorilla, Harambe, holding the boy’s hand and shielding him from the screams of the onlookers. Those videos also show him quickly dragging the child by the foot from one area of the enclosure to the other. With the decision made that it would take too long to sedate the animal, the conclusion was made to shoot. With Harembe dead, the child could be retrieved. His injuries were not life-threatening, and none was caused by the gorilla. In the aftermath, many claimed that all the gorilla was doing was protecting the child while others saw a potential for injury due to the gorilla’s size.

This is a sad story. Many are lambasting the mother for not watching her son; others are taking the zoo to task for killing this majestic animal. There are two groups of people who need to learn a lesson so another animal does not have to die for our mistakes. The first group is those who are in charge of these animal enclosures. They have to look at all enclosures with an eye toward protecting both the public and the animals. The second group is the parents and grandparents who choose to take their children and grandchildren to zoos around the country.

The mother in the recent incident in Cincinnati said she was distracted by the other children she had with her. The lesson here is that there should be one adult for every child. Think of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends to enlist for the trip to the zoo. Not only will each child have a protector and companion, but the trip will be enhanced by the presence of family.

Often these tragedies happen because parents are lifting the child up over the railing or perching them on the railing to get a better look. The simple answer is for the adults to not do this, but we all know that many people convince themselves they have a good hold on the child and he/she could never fall. But, we all have held a squirmy toddler in our arms and know how hard it is to hold on to them. If zoos post signs by all these enclosures to remind people to not sit on the rail, we might be able to save the children and the animals from these kinds of accident.

I know this next suggestion may not be as popular, but if you are a visitor at a zoo and see what you believe to be dangerous behavior, say something, either to the parent or find a zoo worker to approach the parents. There is a very good chance, if you approach the parents, that you will be told to mind your own business, but there is also the chance you could save the life of a child or an animal. Let’s not let Harembe have died in vain.

Helping Children Understand Memorial Day

Helping Children Understand Memorial Day

“Who kept the faith and fought the fight; The glory theirs, the duty ours”....Wallace Bruce

Children, depending on their ages, understand war in different ways, but this upcoming Memorial Day is our chance to teach our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews what the weekend means and how they can participate.

·       Put flags or flowers on the graves of men and women who served in wars (check with VFW or American Legion posts to find date and times)

·       Fly the U.S. flag at half-staff until noon.

·       Participate in a National Moment of Remembrance at 3 p.m. local time. Or stop before dinner for a moment of silence.

·       For teens, they can collect photos of their relatives who have served and post them on their Facebook pages.

Taking the Kids to the Stars

With Spring Break coming up in the next few weeks, it’s time to start thinking of ways to keep the children busy and stimulated during their break from school. How about a trip to the stars?

Most areas have a planetarium; here on Long Island, we have the Vanderbilt Planetarium, located on the grounds of the Vanderbilt Mansion and Museum in Centerport at 180 Little Neck Road.

My husband visited the planetarium recently with our granddaughter, Tally to celebrate her 5^th birthday (we believe it’s better to share experiences with her instead of adding toys to her growing collection!). We took her to see One World, One Sky, a great introduction to the sky and the stars with Big Bird, Elmo, and Hu Hu Zhu, a friend from China. The focus of the show was that no matter where you are, we are all under the same sky and see the same stars.

There are other shows that are kid friendly: Earth, Moon, and Sun, which shows the relationship between the three; Stars: Powerhouses of the Universe; Night Sky, Live; and A Starry Tale.

The shows that are family friendly are under an hour, leaving the kids plenty of time to explore the exhibits. Some of the exhibits may be a little over the kids’ heads, but my daughter found a great way to

keep my granddaughter engaged; she gave her the iPhone and let her take photos. The two of them strolled through the exhibits taking pictures and reading the labels on the photos.

Probably the biggest hit was the large scale Moon. On the moon were numbers, draw attention to the times that man went to the moon. Tally was quick to point out to the guide that the # 2 was missing. Allowing her to take photos that she could see instantly got Tally fully engaged. She even impressed us with the names of the plants she already knew.

After we were done in the planetarium, we wandered the grounds a bit, promising we would come back when the weather was nicer for a longer visit.

New Adventure! Downsizing

In the next few weeks, I will document our journey from 5 bedrooms, a den, basement, attic, 2 baths, lovely large backyard, and pool to a small 2 bedroom apartment. 

My husband Jim and I just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary, and so we thought we would call "plot twist" and sell our 5 bedroom house and move to an apartment. Our reasons are many and varied, but the process is the same: sell old house, find a new place, get rid of all the stuff that we accumulated in the last 10 years at the house.


One of the most obvious first steps is to get rid of all the "stuff" that has accumulated in all the nooks and crannies of our home.

My first suggestion is to ask your children if there is anything they might want. People often keep this kind of information to themselves and then find themselves disappointed when Mom and Dad sell their favorite chair from the living room that they remember watching Rudolph in every Christmas.

Making your children and grandchildren part of the process can make it easier for them to see what you have had stored for so long and then let you know they are interested. You will be amazed at what they see as important.

But you also need to be prepared for them to want nothing. Don't take this as a personal assault. They are watching you try to get rid of things that perhaps you should never have brought in the house in the first place.

Every time I start a conversation with my older daughter that begins, "Would ou like...?" She doesn't even let me get to name the item. I guess, she has more self-control than her mother.

Next week.... what to do with all the rest

TRICK OR TREATING SUGGESTIONS FOR A FUN, SAFE HOLIDAY

Halloween is just around the corner, so it is the right time to remind ourselves and the kids in our lives to be safe because there is nothing fun about a trip to the Emergency Room.

COSTUMES:

· Swords, knives, and other costume accessories should be short, soft, and flexible.
· Always test make-up in a small area first. Remove it before bedtime to prevent possible skin and eye irritation

· Lower your risk for serious eye injury by not wearing decorative contact lenses.

· Wear well-fitting masks, costumes, and shoes to avoid blocked vision, trips, and falls. If the hem is too long, cut it.
Plan costumes that are bright and reflective. Make sure that shoes fit well and that costumes are short enough to prevent tripping, entanglement or contact with flame.
Consider adding reflective tape to costumes and trick-or-treat bags for greater visibility.
When shopping for costumes, wigs and accessories, look for and purchase those with a label clearly indicating they are flame resistant.

TRICK OR TREATING

· Make sure that children under 12 have an adult with them at all times. If your children are trick or treating with another adult, don’t feel funny about talking about your requirements for your child (see below)

· Provide your child with a flashlight if he/she will be going after dark. Perhaps also place some reflective tape on their costume and bag.

· Remind kids to look both ways when crossing the street and walk, don’t run, from house to house. Older neighborhoods often have concrete sidewalks that are cracked and broken.

· They should always walk on the sidewalk. If there is no sidewalk, as close to the edge of the street as possible.

· No eating candy while trick or treating.

· Children should never enter anyone’s home unless the person at the door is someone you have already approved for your child to visit. If not, just tell them to say, “No thank you.” And then leave.

· Never walk near lit candles or luminaries.
For chaperones: Put electronic devices down and keep heads up and keep your eye on the children every minute.

· Think about giving your child a cell phone; show them how to call home and 911.
Watch for cars that are turning or backing up. Teach children to never dart out into the street or cross between parked cars.
If your older children are going alone, plan and review the route that is acceptable to you. Agree on a specific time when they should return home.
Law enforcement authorities should be notified immediately of any suspicious or unlawful activity.

HEALTHY HALLOWEEN
A good meal prior to parties and trick-or-treating will discourage youngsters from filling up on Halloween treats.
Consider purchasing non-food treats for those who visit your home, such as coloring books or pens and pencils.
Wait until children are home to sort and check treats. Though tampering is rare, a responsible adult should closely examine all treats and throw away any spoiled, unwrapped or suspicious items.
Try to ration treats for the days following Halloween.

PUMPKIN CARVING
Small children should never carve pumpkins. Children can draw a face with markers. Then parents can do the cutting.
Consider purchasing stickers and other ways to decorate the pumpkins without needing knife.
Consider using a flashlight or glow stick instead of a candle to light your pumpkin. If you do use a candle, a votive candle is safest.
Candlelit pumpkins should be placed on a sturdy table, away from curtains and other flammable objects, and should never be left unattended.

Halloween should be fun, but some rules can help if from going from fun to disaster.



See more at: http://www.safekids.org/tip/halloween-safety-tips#sthash.fGkdJ21o.dpuf

- See more at: https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/news-features-and-safety-tips/pages/Halloween-Safety-Tips.aspx#sthash.RKhbmtJV.dpuf



- See more at: https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/news-features-and-safety-tips/pages/Halloween-Safety-Tips.aspx#sthash.RKhbmtJV.dpuf

Set Your Child Up for Success: Step 1—Homework Center

In order to make sure your child has everything he/she needs to succeed in school, you have to think about many things, but one is where will my child do his/her homework. I suggest that at the beginning of the school year, you create a homework center. Here are a few ideas to help you get started, but, as with anything, each family needs to proceed based on the needs of their own family.

My first suggestion is to involve your child/children is setting up this area. You would be surprised how willing they are to give suggestions and ideas when they see you want and need their help. For example, they may suggest an area for the homework center that you would not have even thought of. Make sure to respect their suggestions. Perhaps a family meeting would be in order where the entire family brainstorms ideas.

Suggestions to Consider

Where will this center be? The most logical answer to that is wherever is comfortable, has little distractions, has good lighting, and where you can be close by to aid when needed and to keep an eye on progress. Another important thing to consider is comfort. Comfort not only includes physical comfort, but emotional comfort, too. Make sure the area you choose for homework is free of clutter. If the children will be using the dining room or kitchen table, make sure it is free of all clutter.

“Clutter drains your energy – and you don’t realize it till it’s gone. Every item in your home has an energy to it. When items go a long time unused, unloved and uncared for, they become stuck, stagnant energy that actually physically drains you of your energy.”
– Ariane Benefit


In addition, make sure you stock up on all the supplies you need such as note books, notebook paper, pens, pencils, pencil sharpener, dictionary, erasers, calculator, glue, scissors, crayons, stapler and staples, markers, ruler, colored pencils, tape, highlighters, and thesaurus.

Another thing to consider is whether your child will need to use a computer for his/her homework. Consider having one close by the homework center so she/he has easy access. For older children who have their own computers in their room, you may have to consider allowing them to do their homework there. If so, the same things apply… make sure they have ready access to supplies and make sure the area they will be working in is free from clutter and distractions.


I hope the information is helpful…next post: how to “help” without interfering.

Family Command Center

For teachers and families with school-age children, the new year begins in September, not January. So it's time to set some resolutions for the new school year to help keep the fmily organized and less stressed. The first thing to do is set up a Family Command Center. This is were everything that your family needs on a daily basis is located: calendars, files, school menus, chore lists, weekly dinner menus, call lists for children's after-school activities, information for babysitter, in-boxes for all family members, bills, backpacks, and anything and everything your family needs.

STEP ONE: Where will you put your command center?

Most families put theirs in the kitchen, but you should ask yourself where members of your family come to when they walk through the door...put it there!

STEP TWO: What kind of calendar would work best for your family?

Do you want a month by month paper calendar (see link to the left)?

Do you want a dry erase calendar that only gives you one month at a time (you will need another calendar to keep track of upcoming events)?

STEP THREE: Will each member of your family have his/her own file on the wall or on the

desk/table?

Each person in the family should have an in/out box/folder where all paper such as school flyers, notices, and homework goes each day. Make it a habit for the children to empty their backpacks each day in this area and make sure all paper that needs Mom and Dad's attention goes in this file. You can then check it every night, sign what needs to be signed or add events to the family calendar. You can then return whatever needs to be sent back to school to the children's backpacks. If there is an area near the command center for the backpacks to be left, then it will be easy to return all items back there. It also keeps children from running around the house in the morning looking for his/her backpack.

STEP THREE: What kind of filing system will you use?

Will you have a separate file cabinet? One that sits on the desk/table at you command center? Will the files be covered or open? For items that need to be kept and filed, having a well labelled set of files is essential. You can have a file for each person or have files labelled "phone lists" and "sports calendars."

STEP FOUR: Do you need a bulletin board?

If you decide to use one, decide how it will be used. Will it be used to house emergency contact numbers, flyers for upcoming events, family photos? This decision early on will keep your bulletin board from being so crowded that nothing on it can be seen.

Next Week: Setting up a homework center

Gay Marriage and Children

First, let me make clear what my opinion is of gay marriage.  I believe there isn't enough love in the world, and if two people fall in love and want to commit themselves for life, let them, no matter if they are the same sex or different sexes. Marriage is a personal thing, and it's a shame that we had to get the government involved, but we did; they spoke; and now it's the law.

This is the perfect time to bring up the subject in front of the children. The transgender issue has been in the news lately and now gay marriage, so it is a fine time to have this as a dinner conversation topic. Depending on the child and the child's age, you might start with a general question such as "What do you think about the ruling approving gay marriage?" It is important to make sure that the child feels he/she is part of the conversation and that it doesn't turn into a lecture from Mom, Dad, or Grandma or Grandpa.

Having the child air his/her views first also makes sure that they don't just agree with your view because they feel bullied or they think you will be angry if they disagree with you. Listen to them and even mirror back what they said to make sure you understand what they are saying: "So, you think gay marriage is weird?" The next question is the most important: "Why?" It is fine for children to have opinions that are different from ours, but it is important they know that an opinion should be based on correct information and not just what the majority of his/her friends say. We want to raise independent thinkers.

If the two of you disagree, the next part of the conversation should be about respect and tolerance. No matter what your views, it is not OK to belittle and shame those who feel differently or do differently. If they hear someone else do it, it is the right thing to do to help the person being bullied and ridiculed.  This kind of conversation can have long reaching effects and might even help your child deal with bullying situations at school.

The important message to get across is to remember that the adults in a child's life have a great impact on a child, even if we don't think so, and we can help them navigate these issues with intelligence and compassion.

I hope I can get a dialogue started here. Please feel free to post your views here and other suggestion on how to deal with these sensitive issues with the children in our lives.

Guest Blogger Nana Pat (Pat Pauli Dreyer)

The Tattooed Grandma asked me, Nana Pat, to write something for her blog about some of the things I do with my two grandsons. I am helping to raise them; I like the sound of that rather than babysitter. I have them two to three times a week for 10-11 hours a day. We play outside at the water table and sandbox, we play inside with toys I saved from my children and some new yard sale finds, we ride bikes up and down the driveway, we play school to learn reading, writing and numbers and we try to make crafty things. The boys don't care too much for artsy crafty things so I have to be creative. Finger painting was good, gifts for mom and dad were ok, but food crafts were a big hit.



We have made banana bread, cookies, slime, Play-Doh and ice cream. Slime was really simple. We used 1 box of corn starch and a pitcher of water, and food coloring. Start with about a 1/4 cup of the corn starch and slowly add a 1/2 cup of the water. Slowly add more corn starch and water, mixing thoroughly until you have the amount you want and the mixture is as thick as honey. About a box of cornstarch and 1-2 cups of water should make enough slime for 2-3 kids. You can add food coloring or split the mixture up and make each batch a different color. Once the desired color has been reached, dip you hands in and feel the slime. As you play with it, notice how it acts like a solid, then a liquid. It should not splash if it is made correctly. The kids will love it!

Edible Play-Doh was also a big hit! We had used real Play-Doh with some of the kits that it comes in. But edible Play-Doh was more fun because you got to eat it when you were done. We used Peeps from Easter (but regular marshmallows would probably work as well) coconut oil (it’s really a solid) and powdered sugar. In a large microwaveable bowl place three Peeps and one big tablespoon of the coconut oil. Set the microwave for 20-30 seconds. The Peeps will grow puffy and big. Stop the microwave when the oil melts and the Peeps grow puffy. Take the bowl out and start stirring. It will be very sticky, so add 1-2 teaspoons of powdered sugar. Add more powdered sugar as needed. If you use marshmallows you could add food coloring for color, not necessary for Peeps because they are colored already, but you could add some for a deeper color. Put the powdered sugar on your hands to make it easier to handle. It's oiler than Play Doh, but much more yummy! After playing with the mixture, it can be stored (fresh Peeps store for 2-3 days, stale Peeps harden quickly) or eaten!



We also made ice cream from snow. This winter we put bowls outside to collect freshly fallen snow. You need about 8 cups of snow, 1 (14 ounce) can of sweetened condensed milk, 3/4 cups of sugar or to taste, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract (for vanilla ice cream.) You could also add chocolate chips, chocolate milk, cocoa, strawberry Quick or any flavor you want. Thin plastic bowls reduce melting (I found out the hard way not to use metal bowls) and some people use chocolate syrup, but I used Hershey's unsweetened cocoa because of the sugar and sweetened milk already there. You need to stir, stir, and stir. (No hand mixers, they will make it thin.) Put it in the freezer for 30-60 minutes and stir, stir, stir again. We took turns stirring. They loved it! I thought the vanilla was good, but the boys prefer chocolate ice cream. So I added the cocoa powder and that was a winner!



Enjoy the kids and the fun!

Getting the Kids to Read over Summer Break

Teachers will tell you that it is important for children of all ages to read over the summer, but, for many kids, that is the last thing they want to do. Many children take a few steps backwards in their reading ability over the summer break, and it often takes weeks in the fall for them to catch up.

Reading is the single most criteria for academic success. The acquired knowledge children get from reading can actually make them smarter. They will have a vast wealth of information to draw from in their academic lives. In addition, reading helps develop critical thinking skills. As a college professor, I can assure you that the ability to think critically is the key to academic success in later years. So, it is up to parents and grandparents to help kids find opportunities to read over the summer so we can keep them sharp!

1. Join a the local library’s Summer Reading Club: there are often rewards for the children at the end of the summer for reading a certain number of books

2. For older kids, purchase an e-reader. Libraries provide opportunities to download books for free, so the e-reader actually pays for itself. There are also websites, like Book Perks, that show books available on Amazon for free or between .99 to $2.99.

3. Make sure your student sees you reading for pleasure. You are still the greatest influence they have.

4. Read the same books that they are reading and talk about the book with them.

5. On the Parenting website, an article by Melissa Taylor suggests

a. Let the child pick his/her own books

b. Use audio books while in the car (they can also be borrowed from the library)

c. Remember, comic books count!

6. Have a regular day of the week when you go to the library

7. Sign up for programs the library has to assure you a regular trip to library

8. Along with sunscreen, make it a habit for the whole family to pack at least one book on all road trips.

To find the entire article by Melissa Taylor, see

http://www.parenting.com/blogs/mom-congress/melissa-taylor/10-ways-get-kids-reading-over-summer

Teaching Children About Random Acts of Kindness

Many adults have created a mindset for themselves of looking for opportunities to be kind to others. Many of us regularly let other drivers ahead of us at a merge, hold doors for others and even pay the toll for the car behind us.  Wouldn’t it be great if we all had begun that mindset when we were young children?At the dinner table, brainstorm some acts of kindness the children (and you!) can do that week. It might be hard for the children to think of what they can do, but the point is to make it a mindset. To encourage the children, you can all put your act of kindnesses on a piece of paper or a heart and make a collage. Here are some suggestions to help you and your children and grandchildren to create this mentality:

• Volunteer to help distribute food at the food bank.
• Have the child go through toys/clothes and bring him/her along when you donate
• Make cards and pictures for out of town relatives
• When you make cookies or brownie, have them take some to an elderly neighbor, stay and share some with them.
•  Encourage children to give their seats to pregnant women and those older than them on the bus, waiting for a table at a restaurant, etc.
•  Sign up to put the flags on gravestones on Memorial Day
• Teach them to always say thank you
• Rake leaves of an elderly or overwhelmed neighbor (shovel snow, too)...obviously this is a suggestion for an older child
• When getting a pet, adopt.
• Show by example to hold doors for the people behind you
•  Go to the dollar store and get some of the items that an organization like Operation Gratitude sends to the troops…don’t forget to have the children send with it a thank you card
• Make sure children always write their own thanks you notes for gifts they receive ( I have realized lately that sometimes people appreciate these handwritten notes more than a phone call)
• Have the kids take the Sunday paper and clip coupons and leave them on the shelves in the grocery store when you go shopping.
• Pick up litter (and obviously, don’t litter yourself)
• Invite a lonely child to play
• Talk to the new kid at school
• If you see a homeless person, bring them some food. It may be uncomfortable for you at first, but it is important that the children see that everyone matters.
• Smile and say hi to strangers
• They should say good morning to their teacher, principal, school officials and classmates.  

• They can offer to take their neighbor’s dog for a walk. 
• Volunteer to be a tutor or mentor in a school, especially if there is an area in which you can help another student (this is great one for teens) 
• Give someone a compliment at least once every day. 
• Encourage them to be extra kind to the school bus driver. Say hello when they get on the bus and say thank you when they get off the bus. 

Read more: http://www.feelslikehomeblog.com/2014/08/60-random-acts-of-kindness-for-kids/#ixzz3b0LZyBL9 Follow us: @TaraZiegmont on Twitter | FeelsLikeHome on Facebook

Thanks to http://www.bradaronson.com/random-acts-of-kindness/

http://www.eatsleepbe.com/2012/02/acts-of-kindness-for-kids/