Celebrating Family with Traditions

When my two daughters were young, their father would sing Three Dog Night’s song, Joy to the World. Fast forward to the day of my older daughter’s wedding. The usual Daddy’s Little Girl was chosen for the Daddy/Daughter dance, but right before the dance, my daughter and her father were called to the dance floor, not by the D.J., but by “ Jerimiah was a bullfrog… ”… a wonderful reminder of the special connection between this man and his little girl. Fast forward again to just a few weeks

ago, my daughter left our granddaughter Tally with us for the weekend. When she and her husband returned, her daughter greeted her with “Listen what Grandpa taught me.’ Jerimiah was a bullfrog...” and she continued to sing the song for her Mom that her Mom knew all too well. This is the power of ritual and family tradition.

Why are the traditions we create with our grandchildren, children, nieces and nephews so important? Tradition set us apart from the rest of the world and give us a unique identity. With tradition we can pass on parts of our cultural heritage. When I was a child, I had a strong sense of being Scottish. My father and aunts and uncles and grandparents had all been born in Scotland, and they brought some of their traditions with them. At Christmas, my grandmother would make “dumpling.” It took about a month and was soaked in rum (she assured our parents that all the alcohol was cooked off). Inside this fruitcake-like cake she would put quarter and dines. When we were all young, this was exciting, but curiously, as adult, it was too, long after dimes and quarters didn’t have as much impact on our personal finances.

Unfortunately, no one thought to get her recipe, but some of use do have her recipe for another tradition, slie cake. I have made it for visiting cousins, and each has said that one bite and they are transformed back to our grandmother’s table.

When I went to Scotland a few years before my granddaughter was born, I bought a kilt and tam. When she was around one, I took her picture in it similar to one that was taken of my sister in a similar outfit. I hope that all the babies from now on get their photo taken in that kilt.

 Traditions give us a sense of belonging that in the world we and our children and grandchildren live in is often lacking. We all want to belong and family bonds are forged through traditions and family rituals. These can also give a sense of security, something that remains unchanging in a changing world. What to create some traditions for your family?

 Many people think that traditions are tied to holidays, but even ordinary days can be transformed by traditions.
1. Family video night: when the children are younger it is easy to have a regular movie night, but don’t let the coming of the teens stop traditions. These traditions often show teens that family is important. Make sure to let each member of the family have a chance to pick the film.
 2. Snow Day: Each member build a snowman or go for a walk through the snow.
3. Dinner every night.
 4. Every full moon the family takes a walk.
 5. Take a family photo on the same spot every year.
 6. Or have a family photo taken every year and have each person bring an item with them that symbolized the last year for them: a football, favorite doll, cell phone.

 It is also easy to develop traditions with the natural events of a child’s life.
 1. The tooth fairy: my husband loved to create traditions. When the tooth fairy came, he put glitter on the window sill and left a note. One year on Christmas Eve., one of our children lost a tooth. My husband left a note from the tooth fairy thanking our daughter for losing a tooth on Christmas Eve because she got to meet Santa. You can also use a doll’s foot to make footprints in the glitter. You can also decorate a dollhouse door for the tooth fairy to use to get into the house. Each child will look forward to their time to have the door put up. If your child gets freaked out by the fairy coming to his or her room when they are sleeping or your child is a light sleeper and you are afraid he or she will wake up, you can have them put the tooth next to their toothbrush.
 2. Birthday Traditions: make a child “Queen” or King” for a day. They can pick what you make for dinner and what kind of cake. They also can get to decide how to spend the day. You would be amazed at how simple the desires of a child are. Many children often just ask for the family to spend time together.

 It doesn'treally matter what the tradition is, just as long as the child knows it is their family’s tradition and it is important. Please share your family’s tradition with us….